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Do Not Be Defined

I think it’s very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person. ? Oscar Wilde

Learn to enjoy your own company.  Don’t let yourself be defined by anybody else.  Make your own definition of who you are.  When you’re with other do not be definedpeople, you very naturally adjust your behavior to make the people you’re around happy.

In some ways, it’s not a bad thing.  We need to conform a little bit. There are certain social morays that need to be observed. It’s how society works.  It’s why we have rules and such.  But what this quote is talking about is when you change who you are because of the people around you.  Do not be defined by who they are or what they want.   You need to be true to yourself.

The easiest example I can give is when two people start dating.  Often you’ll see one half of the couple give up all the things they like to do, or the people they like to hang out with, to embrace the things the other person likes.  They find themselves spending all their time  at monster truck shows, or spending lots of time at the mall.

It’s a terrible trap to fall into.  Spend time getting to know yourself.  Find out who you are and your place in this world.  Do not be defined by the world around you, instead define the world around you.

Yoga of the Mind

Flexibility requires an open mind and a welcoming of new alternatives. ? Deborah Day

Everybody is all about yoga and how great it is for you.  It is.  It’s increases flexibility, improves respiration and energy, helps to maintain a healthy yoga of the mindmetabolism.  It helps with weight loss, and can improve cardio and circulatory health.  Well what we all need to practice is yoga of the mind. You don’t need a mat, or blocks or anything.  All you have to do is look at things with an open mind.

We  all have set ideas and preconceived notions in our heads.  And most of us hate change.  It’s a very scary thing. But change happens, and we need to let it, and embrace it even.  Be flexible with what comes your way.  Sometimes you need to just go with the flow and let life happen. Don’t assume that things need to go this way or that.  See the possibilities and the potential.  Practice some of that yoga of the mind and be flexible with how you react.

I realize how completely and utterly ridiculous it sounds, yoga of the mind.  If you just randomly heard that phrase, you’d think somebody was nuts.  But when you think about it in conjunction with change, and opening your mind and being flexible about things in life, it makes perfect sense.  So open your mind, and become a more flexible thinker by practicing yoga of the mind.

Stop Worrying

There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will. – Hugh Downs

We spend so much time worrying about this, and stressing about that.  It consumes us and distracts us from our goals and it gets in the way of our finding happiness.  The simple answer is to stop worrying, but life is anything but simple.  There is always something else that captures our attention, stop worryingsomething that throws up roadblocks and delays us.

Stop worrying.  Two little words that are so easy to say but so hard to do.  But stop for a second and really look at the quote – it’s saying to stop worrying about things that are beyond our control.  Let’s take a look at money.  For a lot of people, myself included, money issues take up a lot of space in our brains and in our lives.  We don’t have enough, and our outgo by far exceeds our income.

You can’t not think about your financial responsibilities.  You need to plan, you need to know when the bills are due, and stuff like that. That’s fine and that’s good old adulting! But when you keep obsessing over your lack of money and let it consume you, you’re just wasting time, spinning your wheels and not getting anywhere.  In fact, you can get so focused on your lack that you miss opportunities to maybe make more money and pay down some of those bills.

It’s the same for all your other problems and happiness.  Don’t get so caught up in the stress and the worry.  Stop worrying, if you can’t control it or fix it, don’t waste your time worrying about it.  Let go of the worry and find your way to happiness.

Find A Way

You’ve gotta find a way to get out of your own way, so you can progress in life. – Steve Carlton

So I make no secret about the fact that I pick these quotes out on Sunday and cue them up to go out.  I’ve also made no secret about the fact that these find a wayquotes have a way of hitting me hard during the week.  That happened today.  I need to find a way to get out of my own way in a big way.

I truly believe that a lot of us self-sabotage because we’re afraid of failure, but we’re also afraid of success.  The status quo is safe.  It may not be wonderful but it’s safe.  Here’s the thing, there are plenty of other people who are throwing roadblocks up and causing damage in your life, and just generally making things hard.  You have to deal with them, so why are you doing it to yourself as well.  Find a way!  Stop trying to get in your own way.

This is not the usual positive type post because today I had someone dump a boatload of their stuff on me, and it made me realize something. I have to find a way to get out of my own way and fast, because there are plenty of other people who get in my way.  Why should I get in my own way?  Why indeed.  So here is what I am doing.  Not only am I going to find a way to get out of my own way, I’m going to find a way to protect myself from other people’s drama as I welcome success into my life.  I hope you do it to.  Find a way.  You can accomplish great things, you just have to find a way.

 

Focus on Moving Forward

Don’t dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer. – Denis Waitley

focus on the futureLife is kind of messy.  Things go wrong, and get messed up.  When that happens, I know my immediate reaction is to focus on everything that didn’t go according to plan.  Don’t get stuck focusing on what went wrong. Instead, focus on moving forward.  Figure out where you can go from here.

I know it’s hard, though.  Sometimes it seems like we’re hard wired to focus on our mistakes.  I know at least I do.  I beat myself up over them, and I get stuck in the past reliving them over and over again.  Don’t be like me, lol.  Mistakes happen, figure out what you did, what went wrong and how you can fix it or make it not happen again.  Then you focus on moving forward.

I have to tell you something.  We’re human beings.  We’re not perfect.  We’re messy, and wonderfully imperfect.  Instead of getting hung up on everything you think you do that is wrong think about all the great things you do every day.  And if a plan doesn’t go – well – according to plan, that’s okay too.  Embrace the mistake.  Who knows, something wonderful may come from it, and if it doesn’t, hey, that’s okay too.  Don’t get hung up on the past, focus on the future.

You Are The Author

You are your own scriptwriter and the play is never finished, no matter what your age or position in life.
Denis Waitley

I love the idea of this.  You are the author of your life story, not anybody else.  I know a lot of times it doesn’t feel like it.  In fact, a lot of times, it feels You are the authorlike everybody else is writing your story and you’re nothing but a bit player. Though it may seem that way, you have to remember that you are the author. Nobody else is, and you have to make sure nobody else is writing your story for you.

No matter what is going on in your life, you have the power to make changes.  That’s what I mean by you are the author.  You can make changes.  They may not be big changes, but little changes add up.  In fact lots of little changes will probably make a bigger impact than one big giant change.  Make one small change and get used to it.  Then make another, and then another. All those little changes will change your story, and change your life.

You are the author so start writing the story that you like.  You don’t need an outline or a synopsis, you just need to start making the changes.  Little by little, one by one, and watch and see how your story changes.  You probably won’t get a Nobel Prize for literature when writing your own life story.  But you will get something better – the life of your dreams.

 

 

The Voice in Your Head

We hear two voices calling us, one saying, “Why not?” and the other, “Why bother?” – Sydney J. Harris

the voice in your headDo you have that voice in your head?  This voice will encourage you to try new things and take chances and create wonderful things.  I think we all have that voice.  Unfortunately, we all have the one that says don’t do it.  It’s going to be hard, or you might fail. Which one are you going to listen to?

Common sense tells us to listen to the voice that encourages us ; the voice that spurs us on to greatness.  However, when it comes to listening to the voice in your head, common sense doesn’t often come in to play.  Too often we listen to the voice of doubt and fear. It stops us from testing our wings, trying new things and taking chances.  Sometimes that voice is a good thing, and stops us from making mistakes or getting injured.  But more often then that, it just stops us from living our lives.

The voice in your head can encourage you to do great things, but you have to listen to it.  Stop doubting yourself and your abilities.  Listen to the voice in your head and take that chance.  The outcome could change your life.

Thoughts Have Power

You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.
– James Allen

I spent some quality time today thinking about thoughts, and the fact that thoughts have power. Yeah, I know I’m sounding all new-agey but seriously, just think about it for a second.  Everything in our world (that’s not naturally occurring) started with a thought.  And from that thought came another thoughts have powerand another and bam, next thing you know, I’m sitting here on my computer, writing a blog post about thoughts having power.

Well it’s not quite as cut and dried as that, but it’s still true.  Have you ever talked yourself into something, or out of something?  You know, justifying something that you really should do, or shouldn’t do?  That’s the power of your thoughts.  Let’s be real, I can talk myself into eating that last cookie with little to no effort, but I can also talk myself out of eating same said cookie.

Thoughts have powers, so why not use your powers for good?  Start focusing on how great your life is.  Even if you’re thinking it’s not that great right now, find that one good think that’s happening in your life and focus on it.  Be happy about it, and think about how that one good thing is making another good thing happen.  Pretty soon you’ll be able to find another good thing, and another and another.  I mean sure, you can think things are crappy, and focus on the crappy, and think about more crappy if you want.  I’m not going to judge, but me, I’m all about the good, and finding it and focusing on it, and creating more of it.  Thoughts have power – it’s up to you to use that power!

You Have to Believe

Belief is the ignition switch that gets you off the launching pad. – Denis Waitley

you have to believeYou have to believe.  When you were little, it was the tooth fairy and Santa Claus, and that belief made amazing things happen.  Teeth placed under pillows turned into coins and stockings that you hang up at night are filled with goodies in the morning.  Yes, mum and dad did all that, but the magic was in the fact that you believed.

 

You have to believe.  No matter what, if you don’t believe it, it’s not going to happen.  You have a dream job you want to get?  Step one, believe you’re going to get it.  There are lots of other things you have to do, like apply, and have the skills and training to do the job, but first and foremost, you have to believe that the job is yours.

 

You have to believe.  Believe, have faith, I don’t care what you want to call it, but you have to have it.  It’s the start of everything.  Waitley says it’s the ignition switch, but more than that, I think it’s the fuel for the rocket.  It starts with belief in yourself.  When you believe in yourself, you can accomplish great things, you just have to believe.

The Good Morning Goddess Ritual of Self-Love

The Good Morning Goddess Ritual of Self-Love

Self-love, the Saint-Graal of our modern society. Everyday, we get hammered by advertising messages asking us to take care of ourselves, to follow our dreams, to take that holiday, or leave that job. They ask us to do it, but it is always through the acquisition of a thing.

I say that it all starts with self-love. Loving the person we are, as we are, is the basis of a healthy and balanced life. How can you pursue your dreams, love others, build a life you absolutely love, if you don’t love the person you will be doing this with: yourself?

The yoga practice is a beautiful way to cultivate self-love, through small actions. It is you reminding yourself to breathe during that challenging pose. It is knowing when to stop before you hurt. It is allowing your body to feel the way it feels, every day. It is accepting that one day you are flying in Bakasana (Crow pose) and the following day, you are collapsing in that same pose.

In addition to the practice on the mat, I have created a ritual to include self-love in my daily life. As for meditation, and yoga, think of self-love as a muscle that needs to be constantly trained. It is a life practice.

I developed this routine when in Bali, where I spent 2 months to reconnect to myself, and work on personal development, including self-love.

Reconnection to your feminine side

For me, it all started with reconnecting to my femininity.

As a Yogipreneur, Vinyasa teacher and writer, hustling is part of my daily life. I have to go for my dreams, otherwise no one will serve them to me on a silver platter.

Being in Bali, which is such a smooth and sensual land, I realised I had let my masculine side take over my overall energy. Everything I did in the sphere of work was moved from a place of power, strength, pushing and pushing. My perception of power and the way I conceived it was to be like men.

Bali, and an extensive practice of Kundalini Yoga, showed me otherwise. Being a woman and denying my femininity caused an imbalance in my capacity to love myself for what I was.

The more I reconnected with my feminine side, through practices like dancing, drawing, singing, the more I felt comfortable with myself. I felt good with my body, and I started to let it express itself authentically – wearing no bra was the best discovery!

Practices that cultivate creativity, whatever the medium, are excellent ways to reconnect with our feminine side. Kundalini, through its kriyas, is also an amazing practice to tap into our inner force, which is feminine – the snake coiled at the base of our spine is a she!

We are all Goddesses

The kundalini practice, as well as long discussions with inspiring women, led me to the conclusion that shifted the paradigm I previously lived with: every woman is a Goddess.

We are all Goddesses, both Shakti and Kali, we are powerful and without us, the World would technically be nothing. Yes, this is being feminist. No, this does not mean we, women, are here to despise men.

Being a Goddess means that we know our value, we know that we are beautiful divine creatures. We know that there is enough power in us to take care of our faith and be the heroes of our lives.

Following this principle, I decided to meet my inner Goddess. It started with sporadic acts like smiling to myself in the mirror, and looking at my body from a place of love instead of the good old judgement we tend to have. I wore clothes that made me feel flowy and sensual.

I then decided to formalise it into a morning ritual.

“Good morning Goddess”

 

 

 

 

 

Each morning, I wake-up to my Goddess ritual.

I open my eyes, I put some music on. No checking messages, yet! As soon as the music is on, I start touching the skin of my entire body, starting with my legs. It is, for me, a way to greet myself into a new day, and acknowledge the beauty of this divine body of mine. I touch my feet, my legs, my tummy, my chest, my shoulders, my arms, I let my hands softly greet my entire body. I finish with my face, my hair.

Then, I step into my bathroom, and when I look into the mirror, I greet the Goddess by a “Good morning, Goddess” and a smile.

This might seem simple, so simple. And it truly is. But it has changed so much in my relationship to myself.

They say, the way you start your day defines the rest of it.

Starting the day with the positive feeling of greeting your inner Goddess, that is some powerful start.

And, yes, in the beginning, it will probably seem weird, and you will probably have to fake it. The first days, I found it so difficult to linger in bed, touching my skin. And, how hard was it to look at myself in the mirror without my gaze going straight to my muffin top and judgemental thoughts arising! But it came, slowly and steadily, as it does with any practice.

Today, I cannot start a day without my self-love morning routine. I feel amazing after doing it. And the best thing is that it starts to span over my day – I notice that the way I look at myself in the mirror during the day is starting to be filled with the same benevolence and self-love it has in the morning.

That, for me, is the most beautiful gift to myself. With this, I feel empowered to face life and realise my visions and dreams. Because I know I am at peace with my co-pilot: myself.

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

 

 

 

Oumnia El Khazzani

Oumnia El Khazzani is a Yoga teacher and a writer. When she is not teaching flowy vinyasa classes, she writes novels, as well as blog posts, for herself or for others as a freelancer. She is also a contributor writer for www.bookyogaretreats.com.

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