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Fear is a Choice

You have to remember, fear is not real. It is a product of the thoughts you create. Don’t misunderstand me. Danger is very real. But fear is a choice. – Will Smith

So when I read this quote, I wasn’t super sure about how I felt about it.  Fear is a choice? What the heck does that even mean? How do you create fear?  Then, of course, I thought about it, and it all made perfect sense.

Fear is a choice.  I’m not talking, the feeling you get when you’re walking down a dark street alone in the middle of the night.  That’s danger, and that’s different.  And I’m not talking about the feeling you get after watching Blair Witch, or a Friday the 13th marathon.  That’s scaring yourself sh*tless.

I’m talking about the fear that stops you from doing things and that comes from listening to the self-doubt that fills your head.  That isn’t real…well the feelings are real, but they don’t have to be. You need to shut off the self-doubt.  Don’t make the choice to feel the fear.  Don’t give into the self-doubt that fills your head when you want to try something new or make a change.

Fear is a choice, and you don’t have to make it. You are strong, and you can ignore the voices of self-doubt that try to stop you from moving forward.  Remind yourself that you are amazing, strong, capable and that you can conquer the world.  Be strong and remember fear is a choice you don’t have to make.

Don’t Underestimate Yourself

If you are insecure, guess what? The rest of the world is too. Do not overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself. You are better than you think.
– T. Harv Eker

Raise your hand if you’re completely and 100% confident in who you are. Okay this is the internet so I can’t see if anybody is raising their hand or not, but I know I’m not.  I’m not 100% confident in myself. Heck, if I could go into negative numbers regarding my confidence level, I would.  While I don’t think having so little confidence in yourself is a great thing, I do feel confident in knowing that most people feel the same way. And those that say they do, well chances are they subscribe to the fake it until you make it school of thought.

It’s important not to get too hung up on how much better everybody else is.  You need to focus on you and think about how good you are.  And you are!  You are better than you think.  Have faith in yourself and in your abilities. Have confidence in you and don’t worry about everybody else.  They’re too busy worrying about themselves.  Just remember, you are better than you think, take a deep breath, and remember, you’re amazing.

Do Your Thing

Don’t waste your energy trying to change opinions … do your thing, and don’t care if they like it. – Tina Fey

I would love to say that the opinions of others don’t matter, because the don’t, but at the same time, they do. Most of us really seem to get hung up on what other people think about us, our ideas, our opinions and our actions.  I know I do.  I try to not care, but from an early age, we’re conditioned to care about what others think of us.  So  how do you get past the opinions of others and do your own thing.

First, start by taking ownership of your life.  It’s your life, and you should should live it on your terms.  You should work where you want to work, live where you want to live, have the friends you want to have, in short, you should live the life you want to live.  Do your thing and don’t worry about what others think.

When you can do your thing and stop stressing about what others think about you, to me it’s a sign that you are a “grown up.” And it’s funny that I think that way because there are quite a few kids that I know that are more grown up than a lot of adults I know.  They are 100% true to themselves and they are among some of the happiest people I know.

That’s the goal, after all, to be happy in this thing we call life.  And how can you be happy when you’re busy stressing over what other people think about you?  I don’t think you can.  What matters is that you are happy.  Do your thing, live your life and find the happiness and joy you deserve!

Don’t Wait

Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles, and less than perfect conditions. So what? Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident, and more and more successful. -Mark Victor Hansen

Don’t wait.  You have dreams, plans and goals, but you’re waiting for the perfect time to start?  Well that perfect time will never come, so don’t wait. There is always going to be something that gets in your way or causes problems. Think about that diet and exercise program you were going to start. You were going to wait until the New Year.  New year, new start.  Oh but New Year’s day was on a Tuesday, and you wanted to start on a Monday, so you decided to wait a week.  Then there was a huge snow storm and you couldn’t get to the gym, and the power went out so you had to eat a lot of peanut butter sandwiches on white bread. But it’s okay, you’ll start next week! And please understand, when I say you, I’m totally talking about me lol.

Don’t wait.  Take the first step, and then the second.  It’s just one step at a time, and with each step you take, you’ll grow more confident and you’ll be one more step closer to your goal. It’s scary, believe me, I know just how scary it is to take that first step.  Don’t let your fear stop you though. It’s just one step.  And what happens if you fail?  Nothing, you dust yourself off and try again.

Don’t wait.  This is it, this is your life.  You don’t know what tomorrow may bring, so you may as well start today.

Write Your Own Story

Don’t be satisfied with stories, how things have gone with others. Unfold your own myth. – Rumi

If I could give you one piece of advice, it would be to write your own story. Don’t worry about others have done, or what they say they’ve done. Focus on yourself and your life.  It’s your life and your story is going to look different than everybody else.  That doesn’t make your story wrong, it makes it yours.

I love social media.  I do.  In fact, I spend far too much time on it. Because I spend so much time on social media, I’ve noticed something.  People tend to fall into two categories.  They either complain about everything, or they pain a picture of the perfect life.  Their job is perfect, their significant other is the most loving caring person in the world, they’ve gone on the most fantastic vacation that could ever be imagined and their children are the greatest children ever born.  That’s great, and personally I applaud them for feeling so positive about their life, but often, when people read their posts, they end of feeling horrible about their own life in comparison.

Write your own story. Don’t get caught up in the trappings of your friend’s life.  It’s their life, it’s their story. It’s not yours!  You are responsible for your life and for your story.  Don’t waste time being envious of what somebody else has written.  Write your own story.

Be Yourself

Always be yourself and have faith in yourself. Do not go out and look for a successful personality and try to duplicate it. -Bruce Lee

Be yourself.  Two fairly small words with huge meaning. Being yourself can be kind of a challenge thought, especially if you pay attention to all the messages being shoved at us on every side.  Lose weight, gain muscle, buy this shirt, wear these sneakers, do this job, drink this drink, eat this food, go to this school, play this sport, act this way, date this person, the list goes on and on. If you get caught up in trying to be and do what everybody else wants, it’s very easy to lose sight of who you are.

The best thing you can do is take the time to get to know who you are inside.  How you feel, what you like and what you dislike.  Don’t try to be like everybody else, or even anybody else.  Be you!  It’s okay to admire other people and even emulate them a little bit, but you don’t want to become them.  You want to be yourself, and not an imitation of anybody else.

Be yourself, it’s easier said than done, but it’s the best thing you can do.  Believe in yourself, have faith in yourself and live your life on your terms.


Invest in Yourself

Investing in yourself is the best investment you will ever make. It will not only improve your life, it will improve the lives of all those around you. – Robin Sharma

Invest in yourself.  It sounds so easy, but it’s probably the hardest thing in the world for most people to do.  To invest in yourself, you have to believe in yourself, and that something a lot of people struggle with.  I know I do.  In fact, right now, I’m mired down in a pit of discouragement that seems so deep wonder if I’ll ever climb out.

But I will, and so will you, especially if you invest in yourself.  At times like this, when you’re down and feel like nothing is going right, those are the times when you need to believe in you. When the doubts and discouragement start talking in your head, and causing you to tear yourself down, shout back.  Drown out their voices with your own voice, telling yourself you’re great.  For every negative thing your inner voice says to you, shout two positive things back.  And yes,, I mean SHOUT.  Say it out loud!  Really shout it if you have to.

Invest in yourself, in your thoughts, in your ideas and most of all, in your value.  You are amazing (so am I though I keep forgetting). Invest in yourself, believe in yourself, and drown out the negative self talk with positive thoughts.

Attitude Matters

Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; and nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.~ Thomas Jefferson

Your attitude matters so much.  When you are thinking positive, you can move mountains and when you are thinking negatively, it can feel like the mountain is falling down on top of you.

My son is away for training, and he was feeling kind of down about some of it. And the more he talked to me, the deeper his funk, until I finally called him out on it.  We talked a lot about attitude.  I told him he needed to make a choice.  He could keep thinking negatively, and I could pretty much guarantee that the rest of his training would be negative.  But if he started thinking about things getting better, and finding good things, then things would probably get better.  Attitude matters!

Focus on the good things around you. Focus on the progress you are making, even if it’s small, baby steps.  Keep your attitude positive and you will move that mountain and reach your goals.  Remember, attitude matters.


Can Money Buy Happiness?

No amount of money will make you happy if you aren’t happy with yourself. – Anonymous

Can money buy happiness?  I don’t know because I’m not exactly rolling in it, lol.  But I’d certainly love the chance to find out!  In all seriousness though, happiness comes from inside.  If you’re not happy with yourself, money won’t make you happy.

You can’t find your happiness from external sources.  I know it’s easy to think that if you have the newest car, or a bigger house or furniture to fill that house your going to be happy.  No, you’ll be comfortable, and have a great new ride to work.

But how do you become happy with yourself?  It’s actually kind of challenging (I think) and it’s almost easier to be not happy with yourself than it is to be happy with yourself.  It may take some work, but it work worth doing.  Look inside yourself and think about all the greatness about you!  You are pretty awesome after all.  So while the money is a good thing, and like I said, I wouldn’t mind having more, that’s not what makes you happy…the biggest thing that will make you happy is you!

It’s All About the Feels

More than anything else, people will always remember you for how you made them feel. – Shadonna Richards

When you think back on your life, there are events you remember, of course.  But what you remember more than anything else is feelings.  It’s all about the feels.  How you feel matters, and how you make others feel is equally as important.

Your attitude toward others (and theirs toward you) is the more important than you could ever imagine.  We remember how people made us feel.  When someone has supported us and built us up, that stays with you.  Conversely when someone isn’t supportive, or worse, causes you pain and hurt, you remember.  Those feelings don’t go away, and they can have a long reaching effect on you.

The way you treat others has a long reaching effect on them as well.  People will remember if you were good and kind to others, or if you were hurtful or hateful.  At the end of the day, how do you want to be remembered?  I’m thinking you want to be remembered as a kind, considerate and compassionate person who helps others.  It’s all about the feels.  Think about how the words you’re about to say would make you feel.  If it’s going to make you feel bad, chances are it’s going to hurt somebody else.  It all goes back to the golden rule treat others the way you want to be treated.

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