The Truth about ‘WANT’
By Kristen Howe
“What do you want?” can be a daunting question. We all ask it, of ourselves and others.? I noticed so much resistance to it, that I tried something a little different with a few of my coaching clients.
Here’s what I did – I sent out an email to a bunch of my clients and in the email I asked them 2 questions.? The first question was “What do you want?” and the second question was “What do you desire?” Now, here is the crazy and cool thing that happened…
The answers to “What do you want” were all based in 1 of 2 things: 1. Not knowing
2. Lack
In other words, quite a few people said they don’t know what they want and all of the other answers had a feeling of lack to them – like, “I want to be out of debt.” Or “I want to lose 20 pounds.” Or “I want to fix my marriage.” – You get the idea…
On the other hand, the answer to “What do you desire” had a completely different energy to them. The best way to describe the difference is that these answers were based in positivity.? Answers like, “I desire growth in my business that it is fulfilling, profitable and helps hundreds of thousands of people.” Or, “I desire to have ultimate health.” Or “I desire love to fill and fuel all of my relationships.”
So, what’s the point to all of this?
The point is that the word ‘Want’ seems to be rooted in negativity, low confidence, and lack. While the word ‘Desire’ seems to be rooted in positivity, love and faith.
I know it is just a difference of one word, but if that one word is making all of the difference, don’t you want to make an adjustment?? Remember, emotions always win, so if you emotionally connect a feeling of lack to the word ‘Want’ – then it’s time for an adjustment. And, once you make this adjustment, both ‘Want’ and ‘Desire’ can become positively charged words for you that fuel you.
You can make this adjustment and begin to shift with 3 steps -
STEP 1: Discover what you really want – as I just said, emotions always win, so what is it you REALLY want? The best way to get to the bottom of this question is to realize that you want to identify the EMOTION you want instead of the THINGS.
For example: Let’s say you have always wanted to own your own home. What is the emotion(s) you believe will come with owning your own home?
Let’s say that you realize that the emotions that you feel will accompany owning your own home are, a sense of security, confidence and a feeling of success.
Then – a sense of security, confidence and a feeling of success are what you REALLY want.
The great news about identifying the emotions you want is that you open yourself up to infinite possibilities to feel those emotions (instead of just the one possibility of owning your own home.) AND, once you do this, you detach the negative, lack filled, connection to the word ‘Want’.
Trust me, when you do just this one step, the chances of you finally having the THING you have wanted for so long, increases substantially.
STEP 2: Find out WHY – ask yourself WHY these emotions are what you really want? Is your answer based in fear, doubt, lack or any negativity of any kind? If so, no worries, you can discover the positively charged emotion by just flipping it around.
For example: Let’s continue to use the earlier example of owning your own house – where you identified that the true emotions you want are a sense of security, confidence and a feeling of success. Now, when it comes time to ask WHY those emotions are what you want, if your answer is positive, GREAT (go ahead and move onto step 3) but if it is negative, such as, “I want to feel a sense of security so I don’t have to rely on anyone else anymore.” Then you want to flip it around like so “I want to feel a sense of security and know that all of my needs are easily met.”
Pay attention and make sure you feel completely positive with all of your reasons WHY before you move on to step 3.
Living in the NOW gives you access to infinite creation
and is the key to attracting
what you DESIRE
STEP 3: Transform the Want to a Desire! As I said, often ‘Want’ is negative and fueled by a feeling of scarcity – while ‘Desire’ is positive and full of possibility. This step may seem like a simple rephrasing, but believe me, it works! I want you to take what you discovered from BOTH step 1 and step 2 and swap out the word ‘Want’ with the word ‘Desire’.
For example: ‘I WANT a sense of security, confidence and a feeling of success.’ becomes ‘I DESIRE a sense of security, confidence and a feeling of success.’
And – ‘I WANT to feel a sense of security and know that all of my needs are easily met.’ Becomes ‘I DESIRE to feel a sense of security and know that all of my needs are easily met.’
Use these 3 simple steps to transform your ‘Wants’ into ‘Desires’ and you will be amazed at the changes that start to happen in your life!
