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2 Questions that will Change Your Life

Today’s guest post was written by Erin Dickson an amazing life coach.

2 Questions That Will Change Your Life…

Erin Dickson

Gravity Life Coaching

 

 

 

When I was a few years out of college and stuck in a dead-end job – I was contemplating going back to graduate school to be a Guidance Counselor.  I knew I wanted to be a Guidance Counselor, but the process of getting there was a bit overwhelming. 

 

I was living in an apartment by myself, working 2 jobs and discovered that I would need to do a 600-hour unpaid internship.  It was so overwhelming to look at the big picture –  because all I could think about was what could go wrong.  How could I possibly take a 6 month long unpaid full-time internship while paying rent? 

 

That’s the question I was living in and that’s the question that stopped me from moving forward for so long.

 

When I was finally able to start living in a different question, I discovered how to move forward.  I wanted it to be a possibility, I wanted to make it happen and I knew that others made it happen.  If others made it happen, why couldn’t I?  

 

So, I started asking different questions.  Rather than focusing on how it couldn’t work, I started working with a solution focused approach –

 

“If I believed it were possible, and if I believed I couldn’t fail, what would I do next?” 

 

That question opened up a whole new world of possibilities.   I stopped focusing on how I would fail and started focusing on what it might look like if I succeeded.  That was such a cooler place to be…

 

What I would do next, was easy.  I started the application process and took my first class.  Easy.  Then my second class, then my third class.  As I began to get further into the program, I decided that I loved my classes, I couldn’t wait to be a Guidance Counselor!  Nothing was going to stop me at that point. 

 

I moved from “what if I can’t?” to “what if I can?” Two questions – two completely different results.

 

As the internship grew closer I dropped my full-time job – I found an apartment for $350/month and my waitressing job seriously saved my ass!  I got through my internship and got a job as soon as I finished. 

 

I focused on the possible success, not the possible failure. 

 

If I had started with “I could never do that” then I never would have.  I would be stuck in my routine world of comfort – but not awesomeness.  We need to remember to live in awesomeness – this life is too short for routine and mundane.

 

Change your language and your mind will follow.  Ask yourself different questions, live in a world of “what if I succeed – what would that look like?”, not “what if I fail”…because if you live the question “what if I fail”, you’ll never move from where you are today.  If where you are today is awesome, then cool – hang out there.  For too many people…it’s not awesome YET.

 

Discover your awesome self.  Click below to decide what you’re capable of!

 

https://gravitylifecoaching.lpages.co/live-your-life-fearless/

Manifesting What you REALLY Want! – The Secret BEHIND The Secret


It’s not too often that I can actually say I am blown away by a video I watched online, but this really impressed me:

–> Check them out here

Like many of you, I have been struggling for years to make the Law of Attraction work for me, not knowing that I was actually going about using it THE WRONG WAY!

You see, the key to using the Law of Attraction, and being able to manifest what you want and desire, is the proper use of visualization. The fact is, many people can’t properly visualize and create an emotional connection to what they are seeing. All that has now changed thanks to “Abundant Mind

Abundant Mind is being called “The Netflix of Subliminal Manifestation” because it contains a massive library of powerful, full motion, high resolution visualization videos that can be streamed on any internet connected device.

Unlike the visualization videos that already exist on the market, these are vastly superior because they use FIVE scientifically proven subconscious altering techniques. By using full motion themed video (not still images), a special audio track, affirmations, subliminal messages and binaural beats, these videos will completely change how you visualize and respond emotionally to visualizations. This could literally be the secret behind “The Secret”.

I have been using these for the last few days and I’m already seeing a difference. I highly recommend you take a few minutes out of your day to check out this phenomenal connection of visualization videos.

An Enlightened Message for Your Soul

You can choose to be happy right now.

by Jafree Ozwald

No matter if you are super rich or dirt poor,
forever young or old as the Sun,
happiness is ALWAYS a choice you can
make and a chance you can take, right now!

Make up your mind today to explore
what being happy FEELS like.
Just as an experiment to prove to yourself
that you can simply choose it as an experience.

When you feel the good vibration
you empower yourself with this awesome self loving paradigm.
You can see it is tons easier to manifest anything you want,
need and desire in life, no matter what happens
or does not happen in your outer world.

Your life is designed to be a super rich and
enlightening journey overflowing with jubilation!
Today is your day to explore your your natural ability
to make choices which catapult you instantly into living a life of bliss!

Click Here to Become a Super Manifesting Magnet Now!

 

 

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What if You Stopped Being Yourself – Chris Cade

When I think of experiences that provide me the most inner growth, I notice they all have a common thread: Whatever is going on is not representative of what I consider to be my “normal” everyday experience.

In the case of the last 6 months, trauma is definitely not a part of my historical everyday experience. Most of my life has been fairly enjoyable, peaceful, and lacking of major conflict. Sure I’ve had my challenges, but nothing that was truly horrifying (until last year).

And while I don’t advocate you go out looking for trauma, my experience has shown me that embracing it and working through the trauma has given me riches of personal growth beyond my imagination.

It was a step FAR beyond my normal experience, and the trauma challenged me every single day to live what I know to be true. It also challenged me to decide whether or not I’d continue to identify with who I was, or if I’d step up to the unbelievable challenge and become more of the incredible person that I am discovering and know myself to be.

Now, if you don’t want to be traumatized to step out of your “normal” experience, there are other ways. 🙂

Here’s a true story to illustrate… Continue reading “What if You Stopped Being Yourself – Chris Cade” »

She Gave Me the Finger, I Gave Her My Heart – Chris Cade

Though that may sound like like the name of a really bad country song, I assure you I haven’t switched vocations to become a musician. 🙂

See, the other day I was taking my son to preschool and I had an “interaction” with a driver. There is a highway interchange that was designed very poorly and has great potential for accidents. All the people in the left lane have to get over to the right lane (which turns very quickly), and all the people coming from the right lane (which is a curve) have to get over into the left lane.

To compound the issue, those going from right to left have a metering light that brings traffic to a stop. During rush hour, it’s a dangerous intersection. I was in the left lane, another woman in the right.

I kindly slowed so that she’d be able to get into the lane in front of me. Then I’d be able to switch to the right. Unfortunately, she decided to also slow at the same time. We both came to an almost complete stop in the middle of traffic because within the 1 second we saw each other, we couldn’t agree on who should go first (and there wasn’t enough time / space for either of us to accelerate).

When she finally decided to cut in front of me at last moment, I barely missed hitting the back of her car by probably 6 inches. Maybe less. She was visibly upset.

Okay, that’s putting it mildly….

Until I had fully passed her car, I could see her mouthing various profanities at me. Most of them were regarding what she thought I should go do with myself. 🙂

And given how I was intending to act kindly, and she was treating me so poorly, I’m sure you can guess how I responded to her total disregard for my kindness…

I went on with my life.

I pulled into the right lane, drove off on my way, I sensed my heart, felt compassion, and thought to both her and myself:

“I wish you well.”

No matter how difficult life gets, no matter how badly people treat me, that’s one thing I always find helps me (and hopefully them too!)…

“I wish you well.”

It doesn’t right any wrongs. It doesn’t condone actions, nor does it condemn them. It doesn’t eliminate pain or frustration. And it doesn’t make me any more right or wrong than the other person.

“I wish you well” does, however, help me feel better.

It reminds me that I am a co-creator in this world.

It reminds me that if I want to live in a world where others wish live with kindness, it starts with me.

And that new co-created world starts in those moments where my critical ego least wants to wish people well. Still, it’s a start and it has to start somewhere. For me, that place is within.
 
Your Partner In Transformation,
Chris Cade
Liberate Your Life

P.S. “I wish you well.” 🙂

Stop Feeling the Way You Know You Shouldn’t – Chris Cade

A while back I shared with you my thoughts about “The LIE About Positive Thinking.”  Today, I’d like to expand on that topic in a different way. Specifically, the question is: Is it okay to have our thoughts?

On the surface, it seems obvious. Of course it’s fine to have our thoughts!

But what if they’re judgmental? Or so anti-Law Of Attraction that they’re negative or hurtful? Shameful? Is it okay to have those thoughts too?

I recall years ago that whenever I wanted to feel a specific kind of emotion, I’d change my music to something that mirrored what I wanted. If I wanted to feel energized, I put on Dream Theater, Van Halen, Metallica, or Robert Miles. If I wanted to feel mellow, I put on some Diana Krall, Enigma, or Enya. For whatever mood I wanted, I put in the music that would take me there.

It wasn’t until I ventured further down my spiritual path that I realized how detrimental that was to myself. I thought I was doing myself a favor by “picking myself up” naturally. Sort of like when you have a bad day, and a friend comes over and says, “Hey, let’s go shopping and get some dessert. Forget that loser ex of yours for a while.”

On the surface, that seems empowering and compassionate. The intention is well. However, all those examples have one thing in common:

Rejection.

Each one of them is rejecting the moment. It’s rejecting the person’s experience. It’s rejecting the possibility that being right where you are is exactly where you’re supposed to be.  It is fundamentally saying to yourself, “Stop feeling the way you know you shouldn’t.” And as I teach in Liberate Your Life, every time you use the word “should” you’re identifying with Your Inner Critic, limiting your growth and minimizing your happiness.

So then what’s the alternative?

Honoring the moment.

Instead of telling yourself how to feel or trying to change how you feel, just accept it. With regards to my music, I found a real deep peace and a kind of magical mystery when I switched my mindset. Instead of finding music to cover up what I felt, to ignore my emotions, to try and transcend them, or try to evade them…

I found myself putting in music that honored exactly who I was in that very moment.

The result was profound. Instead of having an underlying agitated state of rejection and frustration, I was listening to the perfect music for that moment. Because the music was aligned with my inner state, there was a resonance which created a sense of peace.

It seems counter intuitive.

After all, sometimes I’d feel a deep sadness. Maybe an anger. Maybe shame. Delight and joy. Excitement. It could be anything. And yet when I put in music that completely honored the emotion I was experiencing, I also felt peace.

The other emotions didn’t disappear. I didn’t stop feeling sad or angry. What changed was that instead of rejecting my sadness or anger, I was at peace with it…

And that made all the difference.

Your Partner In Transformation,
Chris Cade
Liberate Your Life

P.S. The amazing thing about accepting our negative thoughts and emotions is that when you do it, when you truly accept them, they naturally transform into a form of empowerment.

What it Means to “Hold On” to Your Pain – Chris caade

by Chris Cade

Recently I shared with you a bit about happiness, and my friend Arina’s explorations into the topic. While it’s important to find ways to cultivate happiness, there’s also a silent (or sometimes not-so-silent) killer of happiness: our pain.

Many people hold onto their pain like a kind of “badge of honor.” In fact, most of us have some aspect of our history, something painful or difficult, that we have a silent sense of pride about… as though when we tell the story, we know people will empathize with us. We’ll be seen. We’ll be comforted.

In fact, we might even mistake the support we receive for a distorted illusion of happiness.

Since that kind of connection between people feels supportive, we hold onto the story of our pain. We can tell the story again sometime (even if it’s just to ourselves). The interesting thing about “holding onto our pain” is that it actually takes us away from happiness, authentic communication, and it prevents us from living our lives fully.

When we “hold onto” our pain, when we bring our past difficult stories with us, what we’re really saying is: “I don’t want to be here, right now, as things are. I also don’t want to know what potential my future holds. I’m more interested in being with the more familiar experience of my painful and uncomfortable feelings.”

Nobody wants to admit that to themselves.

Yet it happens -every- time we continue to dwell in pain over something that is not occurring in the present moment. This can be as simple as telling your friend later in the day about that “jerk” who cut you off in traffic, that co-worker who talked bad about you behind your back, or your partner or friend who was so involved in his/her own story that you never got a chance to actually connect.

It happens in big and small ways. It happens to me every day. Not because I want the pain. Not because I want to avoid the present moment or the future. It happens because that’s a habit of the Inner Critic and my subconscious mind.

(and yours too)

If I were to oversimplify, I would say that when we “hold onto” our pain, what we’re really doing is giving up on life. After all, if we truly felt otherwise, we’d live in the moment and not in the past where our stories of pain reside.

Byron Katie nailed it when she named her book, “Who would you be without your story?” Really. Candidly speaking, while I have a few clues as to who I’d be, I don’t truly know. Not from a 24-7 experiential perspective.

And if you’re reading my messages, this is also true of you to some degree… 🙂

Your Partner In Transformation,
Chris Cade
Liberate Your Life

P.S. To be clear, I’m not suggesting that acknowledging or experiencing your pain is bad. In fact, it’s absolutely necessary to living a happy and fulfilled life.

Thus the question for you to explore is: How can you live so that the inevitable pain of being human doesn’t become a story (or badge of honor) that drags you back into the past?

If you would like to take the next step with Chris, sign up sign up for his Free “Getting Things Changed” 7-part mini-program that exposes the inner and outer obstacles conspiring against your best efforts to transform your life.

 

Click Here Now to get started…

http://www.chriscade.com/go/?af=12444&url=getting-things-changed/register

Let Me Tell You About “God” – by Chris Cade

by Chris Cade

Just saying the word “God” sends some people into a rage and others into profound peace. It causes wars and creates divine unions. People blame God for the bad in their lives while praising God for the gifts.

I find it amazing how one word can have such different meanings to so many people. There are as many meanings for the word “God” as there are people on the planet.

To some, God is personified – an all-knowing sentient being who consciously and intentionally creates situations (whether it’s pleasure or suffering, peace or war, cancer or miracle healings).
To others, God is an omnipresent field of organizing energy which has no conscious awareness, yet all consciousness arises from.
And others don’t even acknowledge the concept of “God” in any form.
Regardless of what you may believe about God…
Regardless of what you may have discovered to be personally true about God…
I think it’s important to really acknowledge that God means different things to different people. The thing is, what I’m writing isn’t really about God.
It’s about you and every experience you’ve ever had, are having, and will have. Because each and every one of them, every thought, every emotion, every story you’ve ever told yourself…
Means something different to you than it does to anybody else.

And if we can get so riled up about a three-letter word such as “God,” consider how much more we get riled up each and every day with entire sentences! 🙂

Your Partner In Transformation,
Chris Cade
Liberate Your Life

P.P.S. Only by acknowledging how you fundamentally view the world differently from others can you develop the awareness to have compassion for those who are different from you.

P.P.S. And by “those who are different from you,” I mean everybody you ever come into contact with.
If you would like to take the next step with Chris, sign up sign up for his Free “Getting Things Changed” 7-part mini-program that exposes the inner and outer obstacles conspiring against your best efforts to transform your life.

Click Here Now to get started…
http://www.chriscade.com/go/?af=12444&url=getting-things-changed/register

The Difference Between Your Ego and Your Inner Critic – Chris Cade

One of my Liberate Your Life program participants emailed me this week and asked that very question. It’s an interesting one, and I thought I’d share with you how I answer it within the body of my work. Although other peoples’ work may define these things differently, this is what works for me and for the people I work with.

Think of the Ego as your identity.

It’s who you take yourself to be. Maybe that’s a man or woman, mother or father, daughter or son. Maybe it’s an employee, a manager, a friend, and so on and so forth. You could sum up “Ego” as the who and what of your thoughts about yourself.

Think of the “Inner Critic” as the judgmental critical voice that has opinions *about* your Ego.

For example, the Inner Critic might look at the list I just wrote and expand it like this: “Insensitive man, ugly woman, unavailable mother, inconsistent father, distant daughter, burdensome son, incompetent employee, overbearing manager, callous friend” and so on and so forth. You could sum up “Inner Critic” as your opinions about yourself.

I’m aware that some people teach the ego to be “bad” or something to “rid” ourselves of. Unfortunately, that perspective *IS* the Inner Critic trying to judge how a person should go about their own path of inner growth.

(that’s just a more cunning version of the Inner Critic)

Rather than think of the Ego as something to get rid of, I prefer to think of it as something to understand. It’s not inherently bad to be a parent. However, it is important to understand what it means to be a parent, how that awareness affects your life, and how you can live both as a parent in the worldn… -without- all the judgments of the Inner Critic about what kind of parent it thinks you are.

Similarly, while I sometimes joke about “obliterating” the Inner Critic, that perspective only has very limited use (for the purposes of channeling certain types of aggressive energy more effectively).

As I teach in Liberate Your Life, it came to be in your life for very important, survival-based reasons. Rather than try to “get rid” of the Inner Critic, again I find it most useful to try and understand it. Explore it.

In my experience, trying to get rid of certain thoughts within my head is only a temporary remedy. The thoughts always come back. The only approach that has ever given me truly lasting freedom from the harsh judgments of my Inner Critic is awareness and understanding.

I hope those examples help clarify, at least within my evolving and developing body of work, where the differences lie between the Ego and the Inner Critic.

Your Partner In Transformation,
Chris Cade
Liberate Your Life

The Gift You Give Yourself by Teaching Others – Chris Cade

by Chris Cade

“We teach that which we most need to learn.” ~ David Bach

Some version of that quote has been used by leaders for as long as I can remember, and for good reason. While it’s wonderful when we learn something new, the best way to integrate new knowledge and make it stick in our lives is to teach it.

This is because teaching challenges us to really understand what we’re learning.

It challenges us to understand it with such clarity that we can effectively communicate it to others.

Teaching also exposes us to feedback from others, and that feedback is helpful (and sometimes even necessary) for us to understand something deeply enough to integrate it into our lives.

Those are just a few of the benefits you get by teaching something. Studies have shown that when you are first learning something, that if you teach it to somebody shortly thereafter, you’ll remember what you learn more effectively and understand it more thoroughly.

In fact, some teaching methods ~ ironically ~ require students to immediately turn around and teach others what they learn.

The beauty of this approach is that it doesn’t only deepen learning; it also creates more effective leaders in the world.

And it’s no mystery that one of my favorite aspects of teaching is that it’s a means by which I can work with you to co-create an increasingly more amazing world… one email, one video, one person, one step at a time.

So next time you want to learn a new skill, remember that one of the best things you can do is to try and teach it to somebody else.

And even if you don’t want to “teach” it, at the very least, discuss it candidly with somebody else to explore your new knowledge more deeply. Even the process of sharing what you know with somebody else will help you immensely.

Your Partner In Transformation,
Chris Cade
Liberate Your Life

If you would like to take the next step with Chris, sign up sign up for his Free “Getting Things Changed” 7-part mini-program that exposes the inner and outer obstacles conspiring against your best efforts to transform your life.

 

Click Here Now to get started…

http://www.chriscade.com/go/?af=12444&url=getting-things-changed/register

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