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7 Ways to Boost Your Self-Esteem

7 Ways to Boost Your Self-Esteem

Self-esteem refers to how you view your worth. Whether you are aware or unaware of it, your evaluation or perception of yourself in terms of your capabilities, potentials, and emotional and physical features affects your lifestyle, academic or work performance, relationships, and other life concerns.

Because of this, self-esteem plays a crucial role in helping you develop and maintain relationships, find success in school or work, and stay mentally, emotionally, and physically healthy.

Since a healthy dose of self-esteem can do wonders for various aspects of your life, you need to know when and how to give it a boost, especially at times when you know it has taken a hit.

Leading providers of professional clinical supervision services share some helpful tips below on how to improve your feelings of self-worth:

1.    Practice positive affirmation

Everyone hears discouraging and unkind words from time to time. The popularity of social media has also made it easier for people to post whatever they want to say about others, even if these remarks are hurtful and harsh.

If your self-confidence has taken a dip because you heard or read something upsetting, avoid letting these words take root in your mind. Instead of remembering them, forget about them. You will have an easier time doing this by coming up with and repeating positive affirmations.

Create a list of things you like about yourself, what you are good at doing, and your accomplishments. The simple act of writing down and reading about your positive attributes will boost your mood immediately.

Additionally, the more positive qualities you write down and remember, the more you will boost your trust and confidence in yourself. You will then feel empowered and more self-assured, ready to take on the activities and challenges at hand.

2.    Stop comparing yourself to others

There is nothing wrong with following the status of your friends, colleagues, and the people you know on social media. However, if you start envying and comparing yourself to them, you may need to take a break from these sites.

Comparing your skills and accomplishments to others won’t do anything good for you. You will always feel that they are still a step above you and that you will have your work cut out for you when you try to catch up with them.

Because of this, you will have something else that will occupy your mind. And this will lead to feelings of discontent and low self-esteem.

Although it can be hard to avoid comparing yourself to others altogether, try to do so. Additionally, don’t act on this to minimize feelings of competitiveness that will also ultimately affect your sense of self-worth.

3.    Do something nice to others

When you are feeling really low, you will be focused on your weaknesses, both real and imagined. If you continue concentrating on these limitations, you will never get out of your funk.

You can avoid focusing on the causes of your low self-esteem and feel better when you turn your attention toward another person.

Help a co-worker who seems to be swamped with work and has to submit a report before the day ends. If a friend looks burnt out due to juggling housework and taking care of toddlers, offer to babysit the kids so that she can go out for a few hours of pampering. You can also volunteer at a soup kitchen or animal shelter.

By doing something good for someone else or the environment, your focus shifts. You will stop fixating on your negative thoughts, and you will start thinking more positive things about yourself.

4.    Get more exercise

Various studies show that regularly working out and engaging in physical activities can increase self-esteem. They can improve mental health as well.

Exercising empowers your mental, emotional, and physical faculties. While working out, you focus only on the task at hand and forget your worries. As a result, you will have a clearer mind, and you will be better prepared for any ensuing tasks.

Additionally, whenever you complete your workout, you will feel a certain sense of accomplishment. And this will immediately give your confidence a boost.

When you maintain a healthy weight and stay in good shape, you will improve your perception of yourself as well.  This will go a long way in helping you be more confident and avoid feelings of discontent.

5.    Look your best

Your physical appearance usually reflects how you feel inside. For instance, if you’re feeling down, you will feel lazy or lack the motivation to put on makeup and choose a great outfit.

Consequently, your outward appearance can affect your emotions and thoughts as well. As such, if you feel your self-esteem is low, pamper yourself and experience its positive effects.

Go to a salon and get a haircut. If you want to do something simpler, take more time to put on your makeup and style your hair. Another option would be to wear that new dress or pair of shoes that you’ve been saving for a special occasion to help you feel better about yourself.

Don’t think of these activities as being vain or superficial; consider them as ways of practicing self-care. Keep in mind that looking great will boost your confidence and improve your mood, so don’t hesitate to try doing them.

6.    Try a change of scenery

Going to a place you have never been to will help you break out of a low self-esteem cycle.

Trying a new restaurant, taking a walk to a park you have never been to, or going on a holiday to a city you have never visited are great examples of doing something you like to give your self-esteem a boost.

Going somewhere you’ve never been to can quickly rejuvenate your mind and disrupt any negative thought patterns you may have.

Additionally, a change of scenery can give you a fresh perspective and the motivation you need to start making positive changes.

7.    Do something out of the ordinary

Lastly, aside from experiencing a change of scenery, lift your self-confidence by doing something you have always wanted but never got the chance to do.

This can be something as simple as pursuing a hobby such as gardening or photography or engaging in something more exciting such as an extreme sport. You can also take up a short course that will help you grow personally and professionally.

By trying something new, you will get out of your low self-esteem cycle as well. You will have something else to focus on instead of your negative thoughts.

Moreover, you will achieve a sense of accomplishment when set out to do the things you want to do. This will increase your self-esteem more than anything else.

Although these tips may seem easy enough to follow, certain challenges can still come up that may prevent you from seeing them through.

However, every little step counts when you want to boost your self-esteem, so if you can only start with something simple, do so. You will still feel an increase in your self-worth by taking these small strides.

 

AUTHOR BIO

Dr. Gemma Gladstone is an endorsed clinical psychologist and certified schema therapist, supervisor and trainer. Along with Justine Corry, she is co-director of the Good Mood Clinic in Sydney and has 24 years of experience within mental health.

 

 

Break the Cycle of Emotional Eating

I am an emotional eater.  I eat when I’m happy, I eat when I’m sad, I eat when I’m angry and I eat when I’m bored.  In case you’re not quite catching what I’m saying, I eat.  Now eating is not a bad thing, heck, we need to do it to survive, but eating your emotions, that’s not such a great thing.  But I’m putting a stop to all that.  I’ve tried things like Weight Watchers, Nutri System, Atkins and Keto.  They’re all great in teaching me how to eat, but nothing has helped me come to grips with why I eat.  Now, with help, I’m going to stop allowing my mind to bully my body! If you’re stuck in the same cycle I am, then I suggest you check out this amazing class offered by Karen Salmansohn,  that will help to retrain your brain.

In it, you’ll learn:

  • why you binge eat – the emotional root of your food issues

  • how to stop obsessive thoughts around food – in a lasting way

  • how to stop using food as a distraction or to deal with uncomfortable feelings like anger, stress, fear, grief and self-loathing.

  • how to enjoy a more loving relationship with food – and yourself – whether you’re trying to lose 10 pounds, 35 pounds, or over 100 pounds

If  you’re ready to make a change, check out this great program that will help you break the cycle of emotional eating.

Well Color Me A Bit Contemplative

CrossPosted from Well Color Me

I was watching a lame movie today and in it, one of the characters said, “I’m a man, and men don’t hurt the people they love.” If you take it a step further, I’d say I’m an adult and adults don’t hurt the people the love.  But they do, all the time.  Most of the time, it’s not on purpose, but some times it is.  And it got me thinking why people do that.  Why do they say or do things that they know are going to hurt someone they care about

It can be romantic relationship wise, sibling wise, or friend wise.  It doesn’t matter what the relationship is, what matters is that it happened.  I know I’ve done it, and I usually immediately regret it.  But I’ve known some people who have said incredibly hurtful things to people and have never regretted it.  Your actions speak volumes as well, and if you don’t walk your talk, what you say doesn’t matter.  Think before you speak and think before you act.

I’m going to try to be a better person and think before I speak and before I act.  More importantly I’m going to work to not hurt the people that I love, and to just be a better person all around.

Well Color Me….Worth It

originally posted from Well Color Me

I have spent a lot of time (most of my life) thinking that I wasn’t important. I didn’t matter, and I wasn’t worth anything. I didn’t grow up on an abusive or neglectful household, I wasn’t berated during my formative years. I don’t know how it happened, but I always felt like I didn’t matter, and I wasn’t worth it.

I’ve always felt alone. I have serious issues where I don’t ever see why anybody would ever want to be my friend, and I always assume that people think the worst of me. Suffice to say my self-esteem is down around my ankles. It may even be under my feet and burrowing itself down into the ground.

But lately, I’ve been doing some thinking. I’m not trying to figure out why I feel this way, but I’m trying to think of ways to NOT feel this way. I read lots of self-help stuff and they give me all sorts of different things to try, and they do, but they don’t work. At least they don’t work for me. I think it’s because they’re not my ideas. They’re not organic to me.

Here’s the thing, nobody can convince me that I don’t matter and I’m not worth it, if I don’t let them. So maybe I’m the one who convinced me that I’m not worth it. If that’s the case then I’m going to convince myself that I am worth it, because I am. As a matter of fact, I’m pretty fucking awesome. I’m a good person, a great mom, though my kids may think differently. I’m a huge team player at work, and I’m a freaking awesome friend, and if there were a guy in my life, I’d be the best girlfriend ever.

So starting right here, right now, I’m worth it. I matter, and I’m important. And anybody who doesn’t think so can sod off because I don’t need that negative crap or those negative people in my life. I’m worth it!

Sometimes, I Wonder Why

Sometimes, I wonder why.  No that would be a lie, I wonder why, all the time.  I wonder why about a lot of things.  Today I am wondering why about Think Positive 30.

 

Why am I doing this?

That is a very good question.  I started out doing this for me, and for a dear, wonderful friend.  You can read the story in the about section, but the abridged version is we were whiny.  Our blogs were filled with negative crap, and she decided to post one positive thing a day.  Why?  Because all that negativity was bringing us down.

I made a blog specifically for that, and Think Positive 30 was born.  From the blog (not this one) it morphed into a website thinkpositive30.com, and a mailing list.  I loved the mailing list.  But my web host kept flagging me for spam, even though people had to sign up for the email list.  I loved the email list beyond belief. It was a lot of work, but I loved it. But the flagging made me look for a different way to do it.

I found the list I’m using now, Mail Chimp.  It’s an amazing list, but it’s not free.  To send the Daily Positive Thought out to my subscribers on a daily basis was going to cost money.  Lots of money. To send out the Daily Positive Thought it was going to cost me $15.00 a month.  I can’t swing that so I decided to send out one email a week with 7 positive thoughts.  One for each day.  It’s not perfect, but it works.

Why Am I telling you this?

Not to ask for money.  Just a little back story into my Why question for the day.  This morning I saw a post on Facebook and someone was saying they sent a hoodie from their store to a YouTuber who has over a million subscribers.  The YouTuber emailed back and said they were going to wear the hoodie on their show and give a shout out to the person on Facebook and his shop.  I think that’s great, and it leads into my why for this morning.  It’s a two fold why I think.

Why are some people more successful than others?

How does it happen? What do they do more successfully than other people do?  Why are they able to find their niche and help it explode into a way to make money?  Is it because they don’t feel like they have any other options, or is it because they think they have every option in the world?  I’m beginning to think it’s the second thing.  If you’re doing something out of a sense of desperation, you may be successful, but I think your fears and desperation will get in your way and you won’t be as successful as you think

If you approach something with the mindset that you have a thousand different options open to you, you’ll be more successful.  When you act like you have all these options available to you, all these options become available to you. Which brings me to my next why.

Why can’t I make this happen?

I’m a huge fan of the Law of Attraction.  I don’t think that’s a secret.  Simply put it states Ask (put it out to the universe), Believe (believe you’re going ask believe receiveto get it) and Receive (wait for it to come.)  There is a missing step, you can’t just sit there and do nothing. If you want something, you have to work for it.  Effort is required on your part.  You shouldn’t try and control everything, but you do have to put in effort.  I’m okay with that part.  I struggle with the Believe portion.

How do you believe you have a million dollars in the bank when you’re struggling to pay the bills?  How do you believe you’re driving the car of your dreams when your car is in the shop?  That how is my why.  I know these people who are super successful have always believed that they will be.  This all comes back to my little baby of a website ThinkPositive30.com.  Sometimes I wonder why I am doing it, and sometimes I wonder why people care.

Well the answer to the second question is, I don’t know if people care.  I don’t get a lot of feedback here comment wise.  I also have a facebook group, facebook page, and an instagram page.  None of them have a lot of interaction with people, a little, but not a lot.  Sometimes I wonder what I’m doing wrong that I don’t have a lot of feedback and then I realized something.  If I touch one person, help one person think in a more positive manner, it’s a win.  As to the why I am doing it, that’s easy.  I do it for me. To help me be a more positive person.

So I’m going to continue.  I’ll continue with the website and the facebook and instagram.  I’ll keep the mailing list going.  And more importantly I’m going to work on my believing in the believe portion  of Ask Believe Receive.  If I can believe in God (and I do) I can certainly believe that good things are coming to me and that I can and do make a difference with ThinkPositive30.com  And if I can do it, so can you!

Walk the Walk and Talk the Talk

Start by doing what’s necessary, then what’s possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible.~ St. Francis of Assisi

I was going to blog about this quote, because honestly, it’s a great quote.  If you break the impossible down into smaller chunks and start with what you can do, you’ll find that the impossible becomes possible.

That’s what I WAS going to blog about, but instead I’m going to talk about life.  Life and how it seems so incredibly overwhelming and happy-sad-faceshow incredibly difficult it can be to remain positive when you’re faced with the everyday frustrations that seem to crop up with annoying regularity.

I’m going through such a period right now, and if I’m not going to talk the talk and walk the walk, how can I, in good conscience, expect others to do it?  I actually posted on my personal twitter acount that i was jumping off the positivity train and and climbing on the life sucks bus.  This is NOT the attitude of a positive person by any stretch of the imagination.  I’d like to say it was a momentary aberration, but the mood has persisted for a couple of days.

This is where the opportunity to make a choice comes in.  I can choose to keep dwelling on this negative mood that I’m in, allowing it to consume me, or I can acknowledge it and then keep looking for positive things to hopefully override it.

I’m going to be honest, I’m struggling, but I’m working at it.  The trick is, no matter what, don’t stop trying.  It’s not easy, but it can be done.  I know it!  I’m having a hard time believing it, but I am trying.

What are your tricks to get you out of the dumps?

Feel Good Music

We all have things that put us in a good mood.  For me, that thing is music.  If I’m down in the dumps or just having a not so great day, I’ll pull out the Ipod crank it up and go to town.  The feel good playlist is long and includes songs like I Feel Lucky by Mary Chapin Carpenter, and Walking on Sunshine by Katrina and the Waves.  The newest addition to the list is Keep Your Head Up by Andy Grammer and I have to say it’s the ULTIMATE feel good song for me.  What are some of YOUR feel good songs?  Share them in the comments section

KEEP YOUR HEAD UP

wooh, ehhhh, wooooh.

I’ve been waiting on the sunset
Bills on my mindset
I can’t deny theyre getting high
Higher than my income
In comes breadcrumbs
I’ve been trying to survive

The glow that the sun gives
Right around sunset
Helps me realize
This is just a journey
Drop your worries
You are gonna turn out fine.
Oh, you’ll turn out fine.
Fine, oh, you’ll turn out fine.

But you gotta keep your head up, oh,
And you can let your hair down, eh.
you gotta keep your head up, oh,
And you can let your hair down, eh.

I know it’s hard, know its hard,
To remember sometimes,
But you gotta keep your head up, oh,
And you can let your hair down, eh.

I’ve got my hands in my pockets,
Kickin these rocks.
Its kinda hard to watch this life go by.
I’m buyin into skeptics,
Skeptics mess with, the confidence in my eyes

I’m seeing all the angles, starts to get tangled
I start to comprimise
My life and the purpose.
Is it all worth it,
Am I gonna turn out fine?

Oh, you’ll turn out fine.
Fine, oh, you’ll turn out fine.

But you gotta keep your head up, oh,
And you can let your hair down, eh.
you gotta keep your head up, oh,
And you can let your hair down, eh.

I know it’s hard, know its hard,
To remember sometimes,
But you gotta keep your head up, oh,
And you can let your hair down, eh.

Only rainbows after rain
The sun will always come again.
And its a circle, circling,
Around again, it comes around again.

Only rainbows after rain
The sun will always come again.
And its a circle, circling,
Around again, it comes around,

But you gotta keep your head up, oh,
And you can let your hair down, eh.
you gotta keep your head up, oh,
And you can let your hair down, eh.

I know it’s hard, know its hard
To remember sometimes,
But you gotta keep your head up, oh,
And you can let your hair down, eh.

Keep your head up, oh,
And you can let your hair down, eh.
Keep your head up, oh,
And you can let your hair down, eh.
Keep your head up, oh,
And you can let your hair down.

Why Your AHA Moments Don’t Stick – Chris Cade

by Chris Cade

You’ve most certainly seen this in your life, and possible the lives of those you know about. It’s happened to me. The story starts out the same. You have one of those “amazingly super-duper spiritually enlightening aha moment experiences.”

You may have walked around for a few hours or even days without an ego…

It was mind-blowing to feel empty and spacious yet full…

For a night, it was inspiring to have the courage of a lion…

And for a moment, your consciousness expanded exponentially when you saw the entire Universe in a grain of sand.

But then something else happened. It wore off. The realization didn’t stick, and you realize something more immediate: you’re “just” you. Whoever you were before that incredible experience has returned to the present moment.
 
You hoped that the experience would transform your life forever. You hoped that if you had enough of those experiences, if you sought and found them, if you cherished them, they’d add up to enough realizations that you’d get to keep them all forever.

The thing is, transformation doesn’t work that way.

Realization is one thing. It’s the starting point. Realizations like those open us up to experiencing the world in new ways. Until we discover that the real challenge is not when we attain those realizations, but rather, living them in your daily life. That’s called “actualization.”

Actualization is when your realizations are so integrated into your being, that you live them naturally. You no longer have to “discover” the Truth of yourself because simply by existing you are an expression of that Truth.

It doesn’t matter if that Truth is as simple as having the courage to face your fears, or a deeper awareness such as the Universal interconnectedness we all share. Truth is Truth. And it’s a Truth you live without having to try and without having to alter your state of being to experience and live that Truth.

To simplify: Realization is the awareness. Actualization is the living embodiment of that awareness.

The thing is, few people experience real transformation in their lives because they spend more time chasing realizations than they do trying to actualize those realizations.

What good is awareness if you can’t bring it with you at the end of the experience?

Unfortunately, like all great spiritual Truths… the answer is simple, but not easy. In fact, to make your “aha” moments stick, you only have to do two things:

(1) Put into action what you realize

(2) Repeat step 1.

Or phrased another way: Practice the art of living.

It really is that simple. And yet, we have decades of historical conditioning, difficult experiences, and lack of spiritual support, many of which have been us practicing the art of non-living. The art of surviving. And while that was a necessary art to practice as a child, it’s not necessary to practice it in exactly the same ways as an adult.

We as adults have different needs than we did as chidlren. As such, our practices have to evolve, grow, and deepen. They can’t be based on our past — our practices must be based on the present. And therein lies the true secret to the two-step process above.

When you put your realizations into action, when you truly live them, you are living in the present moment. And the present moment is the only place where our practices can be integrated into our being such that they become actualizations.

Your Partner In Transformation,
Chris Cade
Liberate Your Life

P.S. When it comes to realizations…

One of the most difficult ones to live is around our “Self Worth.” Simply put… do we have value? And more importantly, is our value inherent to our being or is it something we have to earn?

If you’re like me and everybody I’ve ever met, there’s at least some aspect of you that feels you have to “earn” your worth. We do this by striving for the approval of others and avoiding rejection. Sometimes it’s in obvious big ways, and other times it’s so subtle or subconscious that you might not even be aware you’re doing it.

And if self worth is an area you’re still wanting to work on in your own life, then please feel free to join me on the free “Self Worth Summit.” I’ll be speaking alongside nearly 60 other speakers about this exact topic: How can we live, in our daily lives, with the experience of knowing that we matter?

Self Worth Summit

She Gave Me the Finger, I Gave Her My Heart – Chris Cade

Though that may sound like like the name of a really bad country song, I assure you I haven’t switched vocations to become a musician. 🙂

See, the other day I was taking my son to preschool and I had an “interaction” with a driver. There is a highway interchange that was designed very poorly and has great potential for accidents. All the people in the left lane have to get over to the right lane (which turns very quickly), and all the people coming from the right lane (which is a curve) have to get over into the left lane.

To compound the issue, those going from right to left have a metering light that brings traffic to a stop. During rush hour, it’s a dangerous intersection. I was in the left lane, another woman in the right.

I kindly slowed so that she’d be able to get into the lane in front of me. Then I’d be able to switch to the right. Unfortunately, she decided to also slow at the same time. We both came to an almost complete stop in the middle of traffic because within the 1 second we saw each other, we couldn’t agree on who should go first (and there wasn’t enough time / space for either of us to accelerate).

When she finally decided to cut in front of me at last moment, I barely missed hitting the back of her car by probably 6 inches. Maybe less. She was visibly upset.

Okay, that’s putting it mildly….

Until I had fully passed her car, I could see her mouthing various profanities at me. Most of them were regarding what she thought I should go do with myself. 🙂

And given how I was intending to act kindly, and she was treating me so poorly, I’m sure you can guess how I responded to her total disregard for my kindness…

I went on with my life.

I pulled into the right lane, drove off on my way, I sensed my heart, felt compassion, and thought to both her and myself:

“I wish you well.”

No matter how difficult life gets, no matter how badly people treat me, that’s one thing I always find helps me (and hopefully them too!)…

“I wish you well.”

It doesn’t right any wrongs. It doesn’t condone actions, nor does it condemn them. It doesn’t eliminate pain or frustration. And it doesn’t make me any more right or wrong than the other person.

“I wish you well” does, however, help me feel better.

It reminds me that I am a co-creator in this world.

It reminds me that if I want to live in a world where others wish live with kindness, it starts with me.

And that new co-created world starts in those moments where my critical ego least wants to wish people well. Still, it’s a start and it has to start somewhere. For me, that place is within.
 
Your Partner In Transformation,
Chris Cade
Liberate Your Life

P.S. “I wish you well.” 🙂

Stop Feeling the Way You Know You Shouldn’t – Chris Cade

A while back I shared with you my thoughts about “The LIE About Positive Thinking.”  Today, I’d like to expand on that topic in a different way. Specifically, the question is: Is it okay to have our thoughts?

On the surface, it seems obvious. Of course it’s fine to have our thoughts!

But what if they’re judgmental? Or so anti-Law Of Attraction that they’re negative or hurtful? Shameful? Is it okay to have those thoughts too?

I recall years ago that whenever I wanted to feel a specific kind of emotion, I’d change my music to something that mirrored what I wanted. If I wanted to feel energized, I put on Dream Theater, Van Halen, Metallica, or Robert Miles. If I wanted to feel mellow, I put on some Diana Krall, Enigma, or Enya. For whatever mood I wanted, I put in the music that would take me there.

It wasn’t until I ventured further down my spiritual path that I realized how detrimental that was to myself. I thought I was doing myself a favor by “picking myself up” naturally. Sort of like when you have a bad day, and a friend comes over and says, “Hey, let’s go shopping and get some dessert. Forget that loser ex of yours for a while.”

On the surface, that seems empowering and compassionate. The intention is well. However, all those examples have one thing in common:

Rejection.

Each one of them is rejecting the moment. It’s rejecting the person’s experience. It’s rejecting the possibility that being right where you are is exactly where you’re supposed to be.  It is fundamentally saying to yourself, “Stop feeling the way you know you shouldn’t.” And as I teach in Liberate Your Life, every time you use the word “should” you’re identifying with Your Inner Critic, limiting your growth and minimizing your happiness.

So then what’s the alternative?

Honoring the moment.

Instead of telling yourself how to feel or trying to change how you feel, just accept it. With regards to my music, I found a real deep peace and a kind of magical mystery when I switched my mindset. Instead of finding music to cover up what I felt, to ignore my emotions, to try and transcend them, or try to evade them…

I found myself putting in music that honored exactly who I was in that very moment.

The result was profound. Instead of having an underlying agitated state of rejection and frustration, I was listening to the perfect music for that moment. Because the music was aligned with my inner state, there was a resonance which created a sense of peace.

It seems counter intuitive.

After all, sometimes I’d feel a deep sadness. Maybe an anger. Maybe shame. Delight and joy. Excitement. It could be anything. And yet when I put in music that completely honored the emotion I was experiencing, I also felt peace.

The other emotions didn’t disappear. I didn’t stop feeling sad or angry. What changed was that instead of rejecting my sadness or anger, I was at peace with it…

And that made all the difference.

Your Partner In Transformation,
Chris Cade
Liberate Your Life

P.S. The amazing thing about accepting our negative thoughts and emotions is that when you do it, when you truly accept them, they naturally transform into a form of empowerment.

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