There are plenty of reasons to feel bad about yourself. Everywhere you look, magazine ads, TV shows, books, and billboards promote people who are skinnier, more successful, more intelligent, and more famous than you are.

The trick is to take all that hype and reduce it to what it is: not your concern.

Instead, here are some simple ways you can live in a world that worships youth, beauty, innovation, and money and still feel just fine about yourself.

1. Smile. Smiling at yourself in the mirror each morning – despite the crazy hair, new wrinkles, and that beautifully soft but oh, so ragged t-shirt you wear to bed – starts a rush of endorphins in your body kicks off a feel-better cycle.

You can literally “fake it ‘til you make it” with smiling, because pretty quickly you’ll start thinking of reasons to smile. It’s one of the best physiological effects on earth! Plus, the more you genuinely smile at others, the more positive your social interactions tend to be, the better other people will treat you, and the more you’ll feel like smiling.

2. Remember that not everything is about you. There’s a saying: “No one thinks about you nearly as much as you think they do.”

While that is devastating to the narcissists among us, it can be a burden off the shoulders to just about everyone else. When you look in the mirror, you see all your imperfections and problems, external and internal, but others around you are much more willing to overlook those supposed defects.

Either they like you anyway or they just don’t look closely enough to see and nitpick your faults. Stop taking yourself so seriously and life will be a lot more enjoyable.

3. Take care of your inner self. While not everything is about you, it’s very important for you to remember that you, as a person, are unique and inherently precious in the world.

Beef up your inner strength by soaking up the spirituality, mental clarity, and emotional balance that comes with quiet self-reflection, religious observance, meditation, and just doing things you like to do on a regular basis.

4. Hold onto a realistic body image. For women especially, punishing yourself for not being skinny or beautiful enough is all too common. Most women and quite a few men want to weigh less and look more sleek, but constantly berate themselves for not having yet achieved their perfect ideal.

Say it with me, people: “I am not my physical body alone.” That’s right! You are still you inside, and your physical shape does not define who you are. Eating a healthful diet and exercising are ways of showing love and gratitude toward your body, so do those things without the expectation that as you enjoy looking in the mirror more you will be completely fulfilled by being able to wear a bikini in public.

Happiness is an internal process, so learn to love yourself at whatever physical stage you happen to be in.

5. Dress appropriately. You act confident and assured when you feel good about how you look. Dressing well doesn’t mean you have to wear the priciest duds from the catwalk, but it does mean learning how to pick clothing that emphasizes what you like and minimizes what you’re still working on.

What many insecure teen girls need to learn, however, is that more skin does not equal more worth. Modest dresses, blouses, skirts, and pants in the right colors for your skin tone and that fit well present a sophisticated, competent image to the world. And yes, others will treat you based on their first impressions of how you look, so why not choose your clothing so that you’ll be treated as the intelligent, beautiful person that you are? And make sure you smile.

6. Grooming. Along with dressing appropriately, careful hygiene practices and grooming techniques are a must.

While you don’t need to spend hours a day on grooming (and if you are, it’s time to change your hairstyle, makeup, and perfectionist attitude), keeping yourself clean and smelling nice is essential. It seems like an obvious thing to say, but some boys still need to hear it. Wear deodorant (or a granola equivalent that really works). Shower frequently.

And girls, revel in a hot new haircut or makeup technique every once in a while. When you feel like you look good, you’ll be surprised how people respond to your instant magnetism.

7. Stretch your mind. Ignorance is not bliss. Nor is it all that attractive. Even if you are not currently undergoing the rigors of formal education, learning new things does help you feel better about yourself.

Mastering a new skill boosts your confidence tremendously, but even the journey of learning and growing is something we’re built to enjoy.

Human beings are naturally curious. Find ways to stretch your creativity, expose yourself to new ideas, and enrich your education.

8. Nurture relationships. Strong, nurturing relationships with family and friends are critical in helping you up your self-confidence level.

Not all your relationships will be ideal, but nurturing those that you feel are healthy satisfies the need within each of us to belong somewhere. We all need people, whether we need them in small doses or can’t fathom being alone for a minute.

Being a good spouse, parent, child, and friend opens up opportunities for some of the most fulfilling moments in our lives.

9. Serve others. Remember how it’s not all about you?

Everyone around you is just trying to make it through this life, so why not ease someone else’s burden just a little? Sometimes a happy smile will be just the thing you can give someone who is having a bad day.

Look for chances to lighten a burden for someone else and you’ll be surprised to find that your own burdens aren’t quite so heavy to bear. The great thing about service is that you can help others and feel great about it.

10. Cultivate the ability to love. Love is one of the few things in this world that you have more of the more you give it away; but the more you refuse to give it, the less you’ll have.

Don’t be stingy with it. Loving yourself means accepting your weaknesses as parts of yourself you are still working to improve and celebrating your strengths. Do that for those around you, and you’ll find that life is filled with joy.

How can you not feel better when you have joy in your heart?

- John Maxwell, author and public speaker

I posted not too long ago about personal responsibility and how important I think it is for us to basically man up and accept the responsibility for what goes on in our lives.   I’ve been thinking about that  a lot lately – and I still believe it, but then, I found this quote that clarifies things a lot more for me.  We all have things that happen in our lives that are out of our control.  The economy is really bad right now and people are losing their jobs not because of their performance, but because the company may be downsizing or going out of business.

How are you supposed to accept personal responsibility for that?  You really can’t.  Just like you can’t accept personal responsibility for weather catastrophes and illnesses.  What you can, and SHOULD accept responsibility for is your attitude.  How do you deal with these setbacks that are out of your control?  It’s normal (and healthy) to have feelings of anger, resentment and hopelessness etc.  Acknowledge those feelings, they are your feelings and they are valid.  What you do next is what’s important.  Do you continue to wallow in the negative feelings, or do you find a way to move forward?  Don’t dwell, don’t wallow, find a way to move forward.  Craft that attitude of gratitude, look for the positives and find a way to move forward.  Open your eyes to the possibilities and who knows what you will find.  Remember you are what your attitude makes you!

Have you ever noticed that when you go on a diet suddenly someone who loves you wants to feed you a cookie or a cupcake?

When we make big changes, it affects the people closest to us.

As you begin to consciously manifest new people and things into your life, you may find that some of the people closest to you become jealous, or even become passive aggressive towards you, or may even try to sabotage your efforts. Chances are they are not purposely trying to be this way they are just reacting to a new and improved you and they are a bit nervous.

If the shoe were on the other foot, and someone close to you had made some changes – for better or worse- you might find yourself a little unsettled until you had the sense that this person still loved you.

There is an adjustment period. It’s not unusual that the people that we love feel threatened. Your positive changes are threatening to their worldview.

It’s part of the price of making change.

For now, keep creating the space for your own personal growth and try not to judge your friends. Now that you’ve found a better way to live have faith that eventually your friends and family will see the merits and benefits and will join you. You are now holding the bar higher so just be patient and understanding with them.

Plus, as they observe how much happier you are, they might decide to make a change as well.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. – Nelson Mandela

Are you perfect?  Do you succeed at everything you attempt?  If you do, you probably don’t need to continue reading – but please take a minute and email me your secrets.  If you are like me and you don’t succeed every time you try something, and things don’t ALWAYS work out perfectly, read on.

CONGRATULATIONS!  You are a HERO to me.  Things don’t always work out for people the way they planned, and sometimes things fail – epically.  What happens next is what makes you so amazing.  You dust yourself off, and try again.  You don’t give up, and that is amazing.  Be proud of yourself for having the strength and fortitude to soldier on when things aren’t going according to plan.

That’s not to say that sometimes you need to reevaluate and choose another course of action, and there is a certain strength and recognizing that sometimes you have to change your plan completely.  There is a certain glory in that as well.  To me, that’s not giving up, that’s more taking a look at what is happening and making different choices.  Giving up is just that- walking away without any reflection.

Revel in the glory that is you, whether you succeed, keep trying, or choose to travel a different path.   Whatever choice you make, you are amazing.

KEEP YOUR HEAD UP

wooh, ehhhh, wooooh.

I’ve been waiting on the sunset
Bills on my mindset
I can’t deny theyre getting high
Higher than my income
In comes breadcrumbs
I’ve been trying to survive

The glow that the sun gives
Right around sunset
Helps me realize
This is just a journey
Drop your worries
You are gonna turn out fine.
Oh, you’ll turn out fine.
Fine, oh, you’ll turn out fine.

But you gotta keep your head up, oh,
And you can let your hair down, eh.
you gotta keep your head up, oh,
And you can let your hair down, eh.

I know it’s hard, know its hard,
To remember sometimes,
But you gotta keep your head up, oh,
And you can let your hair down, eh.

I’ve got my hands in my pockets,
Kickin these rocks.
Its kinda hard to watch this life go by.
I’m buyin into skeptics,
Skeptics mess with, the confidence in my eyes

I’m seeing all the angles, starts to get tangled
I start to comprimise
My life and the purpose.
Is it all worth it,
Am I gonna turn out fine?

Oh, you’ll turn out fine.
Fine, oh, you’ll turn out fine.

But you gotta keep your head up, oh,
And you can let your hair down, eh.
you gotta keep your head up, oh,
And you can let your hair down, eh.

I know it’s hard, know its hard,
To remember sometimes,
But you gotta keep your head up, oh,
And you can let your hair down, eh.

Only rainbows after rain
The sun will always come again.
And its a circle, circling,
Around again, it comes around again.

Only rainbows after rain
The sun will always come again.
And its a circle, circling,
Around again, it comes around,

But you gotta keep your head up, oh,
And you can let your hair down, eh.
you gotta keep your head up, oh,
And you can let your hair down, eh.

I know it’s hard, know its hard
To remember sometimes,
But you gotta keep your head up, oh,
And you can let your hair down, eh.

Keep your head up, oh,
And you can let your hair down, eh.
Keep your head up, oh,
And you can let your hair down, eh.
Keep your head up, oh,
And you can let your hair down.

– Open Your Heart And Find Happiness:

* I find great happiness in everything I do
* Happiness is at the core of my very being
* When I love others, they love me back
* I have all the abundance I need to live a wonderful life
* My potential for happiness is unlimited
* I am now happier and more joyful than ever before
* I now give and receive love easily and effortlessly
* My higher self is taking care of all my needs
* I have an abundance of happiness in my life right now
* I love and accept myself just the way I am
* My heart opens when I tune into it’s feeling nature

The greatest things ever done on Earth have been done little by little.- William Jennings Bryan

Now THIS is a quote that totally works for me.  It’s a quote that makes sense, and I think it’s something everybody can stand to remember.  We all have goals and dreams, and we can see what we want.  We want something so bad, we can practically taste it.  Then it happens, we get overwhelmed.  Well I do anyhow.  And when I get overwhelmed, I get very unmotivated and very negative and pretty much give up.

This is NOT very productive way to do things, and I’ll be the first to admit it.  While it’s good to have a goal, and focus on it, it’s also smart to break it down into manageable chunks.  Sure your ultimate goal may be to take over the world.  Break it up into smaller chunks.  Start with your home town

Okay, taking over the world is probably not your immediate goal.  Take a look at a goal you have.  I, for example, want to lose an extremely large amount of weight.  Every time I look at that number I get depressed and pretty much give up.  Now, I’m working on breaking that number up into smaller chunks.  I want to lose 5 pounds in two weeks.  It’s much more manageable and easier to deal with.

Try it yourself and see.  Look at your goals and break them down into smaller, more obtainable goals and see what happens.

By Kristen Howe – Law of Attraction Key

What makes your heart sing?
What makes you smile?
When was the last time you laughed out loud?
What were you doing when you last felt like ‘YOU’?

What makes your heart sing?
When you look at the world like a child, what do you see?
When you look at the world like a game, what makes it fun?
When was the last time you were interested in what you had to say?

What makes your heart sing?
When did you last feel joy?
What fills you with gratitude?
When was the last time you were proud – of yourself?

What makes your heart sing?
Who do you want to be?
How do you want to treat other people?
How do you want to treat yourself?

What makes your heart sing?
What if everything is possible?
What do you love?
Who do you love?

What makes your heart sing?
What makes your heart sing?
What makes your heart sing?

This may seem like a poem, but there is more to it than that. When you listen to your heart, you don’t have to choose one thing over another. When you listen to your heart you become completely authentic and true.It’s time to start to listen to your heart again. Go through this poem and answer the questions. Don’t think, just answer – you will be amazed at what you discover.

The life of inner peace, being harmonious and without stress, is the easiest type of existence. – Norman Vincent Peale

So in the interest of always being completely honest, I have to say this quote kind of made me epically angry.  I’m certainly not disagreeing with what it says.  I mean really, how could you?  It’s 100% true.  Inner peace is the goal and if you have it, your life is pretty darn great.  It’s the achieving inner peace that I’m having a problem.  HOW?  How does one attain inner peace?  I want to have a life that is harmonious and without stress, but I’m darned if I can figure out how to do it.  If anybody finds an answer to this one, let me know – please.  In the mean time, I think I’ll just continue to focus on being positive and happy and being the best possible person I can be.  Who knows, maybe if I do that, inner peace will just fall in to place, and if it doesn’t, I have the benefit of being happy and positive, those are two pretty cool things.

From The Secret Daily Teachings

Most people don’t realize how much passion they put into what they don’t want. When you speak to a friend and you tell them all about an “awful” situation, you are putting passion into what you don’t want. When you react to an event negatively, with the response that it is “terrible”, you are putting passion into what you don’t want.

You are a beautiful passionate being, so make sure you direct your passion wisely.

May the joy be with you,

Rhonda Byrne
The Secret… bringing joy to billions