Think Positive 30 Rotating Header Image

life

Well Color Me….Worth It

originally posted from Well Color Me

I have spent a lot of time (most of my life) thinking that I wasn’t important. I didn’t matter, and I wasn’t worth anything. I didn’t grow up on an abusive or neglectful household, I wasn’t berated during my formative years. I don’t know how it happened, but I always felt like I didn’t matter, and I wasn’t worth it.

I’ve always felt alone. I have serious issues where I don’t ever see why anybody would ever want to be my friend, and I always assume that people think the worst of me. Suffice to say my self-esteem is down around my ankles. It may even be under my feet and burrowing itself down into the ground.

But lately, I’ve been doing some thinking. I’m not trying to figure out why I feel this way, but I’m trying to think of ways to NOT feel this way. I read lots of self-help stuff and they give me all sorts of different things to try, and they do, but they don’t work. At least they don’t work for me. I think it’s because they’re not my ideas. They’re not organic to me.

Here’s the thing, nobody can convince me that I don’t matter and I’m not worth it, if I don’t let them. So maybe I’m the one who convinced me that I’m not worth it. If that’s the case then I’m going to convince myself that I am worth it, because I am. As a matter of fact, I’m pretty fucking awesome. I’m a good person, a great mom, though my kids may think differently. I’m a huge team player at work, and I’m a freaking awesome friend, and if there were a guy in my life, I’d be the best girlfriend ever.

So starting right here, right now, I’m worth it. I matter, and I’m important. And anybody who doesn’t think so can sod off because I don’t need that negative crap or those negative people in my life. I’m worth it!

It was a Speed Bump of Epic Proportions

Tuesday

Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.– William James

So I took a couple of unscheduled days off this week. I got hit with some crappy news, that threw me for a loop, and I needed time to regroup and it was a speedbump of epic proportionscome to terms with it.  It was a speed bump of epic proportions. What’s interesting is the quotes for Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday ALL work with this post, so I’m going to use them all!

Wednesday

You have three choices in life: give up, give in, or give it all you’ve got! – Unknown

If I had done what certain people had wanted, I would have tucked my proverbial tail between my legs, packed my bags and moved on.  That’s what other people wanted, but it’s not what I wanted.  I decided to fight for what I wanted, and fight hard.  It’s going to be an uphill battle, but I’m going to give it all I’ve got.

Thursday

You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best that you have to give. – Eleanor Roosevelt

It’s hard when you have a clear plan for what you want, where you’re going and how you’re going to get there, and life throws in one of those speed bumps or road blocks. When that happens, sometimes the best thing you can do is stop, take stock of the situation and formulate a new plan. And that is exactly what I’ve been doing during my little hiatus. I hit a speed bump of epic proportions and I had to figure out a new plan.

Friday

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. – Eleanor Roosevelt

Now here’s the thing, I encountered this speed bump of epic proportions, and yes, it threw me for a loop.  I stumbled, I even fell, but what I didn’t do was give up.  I fought back.  I looked at the person who put this speed bump in place and I gave her the figurative finger.  In doing so, I made an enemy out of someone I really couldn’t afford to have mad at me.  But I made a choice and with every choice there are positives and negatives.  That’s one of the negatives.

Saturday

Wisdom is knowing what to do; virtue is doing it. ~ David Jordan

Did I make the right choice?  I don’t know.  I really don’t.  What I did do is make a decision, and I am going to do my best to meet the new challenges that I will face because of my decision.  I am going to have to prove myself over and over again, and I have people that will be waiting to pounce on the slightest mistake.  I’m okay with that thought.  Why?  Because I know that I will be putting forth my best effort, and when it comes right down to it, that’s all anybody can do. So I’m going to conquer that speed bump of epic proportions, and who knows, what’s on the other side may be even better.

Who I Am

Just a little bit of a different post because school closed early due to a snow storm 🙂  I’ve been doing this for almost 9 years now, and I’ve share a little bit about myself, but if you want to get a better insight into who I am, please feel free to check out my personal blog, Well Color Me… It’s my Who I amramblings on the world in general and my life in particular.

Life Got Crazy for a While

So my week got a little crazy at work, and it spilled over into my out of work life.  When that happens, something has to give (or in my case several somethings) and one of those things was my blog posts for the rest of the week.  I apologize, but as the saying goes, s*** happens.  But looking at the quotes I didn’t get to blog about, I kind of realized that they sum up my week perfectly.  Wednesday was a crazy day with school wide PSAT’s for the sophomores and some of the juniors.  This disrupted the schedule for the rest of the school as well as class placement.  Basically, it was a fly by the seat of your pants kind of day.  We did what we could with what we could with what we had, which wasn’t a lot.  A lot of the crazy spilled over into the next day and a lot of time was spent picking up the pieces of the crazy day before.  For me anyhow, I didn’t believe in the power of anything.  I was hanging on by a thread, but I made it through and figured the next day would be smooth sailing.  Oh how wrong I was.  The next day started with me down in the principal’s office with a student who was supposed to be suicidal the night before.  Thankfully, the reports were incorrect, but those are the kinds of things you don’t leave to chance.  However at the end of the day, it was the same story, different kid, and sadly that report was far more credible.  As an educator, my main goal is to help kids see how awesome that they are, and yet, sadly, we deal with situations like that far too often.  How am I supposed to help a kiddo realize their self-worth when the rest of society, including their family, is telling them they are worthless

We all have something of value to contribute to this world, and our job as parents, and as educators is to help our children and our students realize it.  Our job is not to tear them down and destroy their feelings of self worth.  Anyhow, needless to day, this week kind of killed me inside and there wasn’t a lot energy left over for writing.  What’s incredibly ironic is that I tell my students when they are faced with situations similar to this, when they’re feeling overwhelmed, or that nobody cares, I tell them to write about it.  Journal writing is a big part of my school day.  I tell them if they need to swear to get their point across, do it.  If they don’t want me to read what they wrote start off their journal entry by saying that, and I’ll stop reading.  Journal writing is an amazing way to let your feelings out and to sort through emotions that you are struggling with.  But I didn’t do it.  I forgot to look for the positives in each day and to try and turn things around.  Instead, I chose to wallow in the craziness of my week and it didn’t do me one bit of good.  So while I do know and accept that there will be days when I am just too out straight busy to write, I also know that on the days that are super stressful, I need to write!

Another good lesson I was reminded of this week is that I am NOT perfect.  I screw up, I make mistakes, and sometimes I fall off the positive thinking wagon.  It’s okay.  I’m not supposed to be perfect.  I’m supposed to make mistakes and hopefully learn from them, and the biggest lesson of all is that if and when I do get mired down in the negative thinking, is that it’s okay.  I just have to make sure I don’t stay there.  We can do this.  We don’t have to do it alone, we can do it together, just one day at a time.

 

Celebrate Your Life

Celebrate your Life
by Jafree Ozwald

This life that you have been given is a very sacred thing,
and there are sooo many wonderful reasons to celebrate it!
The best reason is you are the co-creator and main manifestor of it all!
Yes, your thoughts are designing your reality in each millisecond.
So think about what you WANT and stop thinking about what you don’t want.
Let yourself play, dance, sing, and enjoy being alive today!

You can just scream out a BIG YES to yourself
because YOU are THE party.  That’s right.
Without you, there is no main attraction.

No matter what those doubting limiting thoughts may say,
always remember this one little fact.
The more often you can celebrate every precious day of your life,
the bigger the “welcome home” party you’ll have in the end.

Get ready to let it ALL hang out,
the real FUN is just starting.

Click Here to Become a Super Manifesting Magnet Now!

Web Counters Free Hit Counters
eXTReMe Tracker