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Being Positive in 2020

If there was ever a year that was the antithesis of thinking positive, it would be 2020.  Dealing with covid-19 is hard.  People are dying from this, and that’s tragic.  You would think during this horrible time, we’d all come together and support one another, but that isn’t happening, and for me, that is why this year is all about negativity.

I spend a lot of time on Facebook, probably too much time if we’re being totally honest, and what I see posted there breaks my heart.  Here in the states, I’ve seen an election tear a country apart.  Prior to that, I saw a president that did not reflect any of the values I believe in.  I’ve seen people belittle one another over their political choices.  I’ve seen friendships end, and I’ve even seen families torn apart.

I’ve seen people belittle one another over the wearing of masks, and amazingly, I’ve seen people complain that some groups of people are working from home.  On a personal front, I’ve seen parents saying the most horrible things about teachers, blaming the fact that schools are closed on teachers.  News flash…teachers don’t have that power.

I feel bruised and battered and beaten down on a daily basis, and I know I’m not alone.  So many of us are feeling this way.  People losing jobs left and right and there isn’t enough money to survive, let alone celebrate the upcoming holiday.

It is this time, more than any other we need to dig down and find that scrap of positivity and focus on it.  Think positive thoughts, spread some joy.  When you encounter a hateful post, or worse, a hateful person, walk away.  Don’t bring negativity like that into your life.  Do what you have to do to pull yourself out of the pool of negativity that has been 2020.  You can make a difference and spread some positivity in this world  – everyone can.

Smile more, lend a helping hand when you can, and remember this has been a horrible year for pretty much everyone, but if we pull together, we can make it a little bit better.

Life Got Crazy for a While

So my week got a little crazy at work, and it spilled over into my out of work life.  When that happens, something has to give (or in my case several somethings) and one of those things was my blog posts for the rest of the week.  I apologize, but as the saying goes, s*** happens.  But looking at the quotes I didn’t get to blog about, I kind of realized that they sum up my week perfectly.  Wednesday was a crazy day with school wide PSAT’s for the sophomores and some of the juniors.  This disrupted the schedule for the rest of the school as well as class placement.  Basically, it was a fly by the seat of your pants kind of day.  We did what we could with what we could with what we had, which wasn’t a lot.  A lot of the crazy spilled over into the next day and a lot of time was spent picking up the pieces of the crazy day before.  For me anyhow, I didn’t believe in the power of anything.  I was hanging on by a thread, but I made it through and figured the next day would be smooth sailing.  Oh how wrong I was.  The next day started with me down in the principal’s office with a student who was supposed to be suicidal the night before.  Thankfully, the reports were incorrect, but those are the kinds of things you don’t leave to chance.  However at the end of the day, it was the same story, different kid, and sadly that report was far more credible.  As an educator, my main goal is to help kids see how awesome that they are, and yet, sadly, we deal with situations like that far too often.  How am I supposed to help a kiddo realize their self-worth when the rest of society, including their family, is telling them they are worthless

We all have something of value to contribute to this world, and our job as parents, and as educators is to help our children and our students realize it.  Our job is not to tear them down and destroy their feelings of self worth.  Anyhow, needless to day, this week kind of killed me inside and there wasn’t a lot energy left over for writing.  What’s incredibly ironic is that I tell my students when they are faced with situations similar to this, when they’re feeling overwhelmed, or that nobody cares, I tell them to write about it.  Journal writing is a big part of my school day.  I tell them if they need to swear to get their point across, do it.  If they don’t want me to read what they wrote start off their journal entry by saying that, and I’ll stop reading.  Journal writing is an amazing way to let your feelings out and to sort through emotions that you are struggling with.  But I didn’t do it.  I forgot to look for the positives in each day and to try and turn things around.  Instead, I chose to wallow in the craziness of my week and it didn’t do me one bit of good.  So while I do know and accept that there will be days when I am just too out straight busy to write, I also know that on the days that are super stressful, I need to write!

Another good lesson I was reminded of this week is that I am NOT perfect.  I screw up, I make mistakes, and sometimes I fall off the positive thinking wagon.  It’s okay.  I’m not supposed to be perfect.  I’m supposed to make mistakes and hopefully learn from them, and the biggest lesson of all is that if and when I do get mired down in the negative thinking, is that it’s okay.  I just have to make sure I don’t stay there.  We can do this.  We don’t have to do it alone, we can do it together, just one day at a time.

 

The Lie About Positive Thinking – Chris Cade

by Chris Cade

You’ve heard it all before…

“Think more positively and you’ll get what you want. Visualize, affirm, and manifestation will happen effortlessly. Oh and be sure to overcome those pesky limiting beliefs! Affirmations, gratitude, and positive thinking will cover that one for you. Life is easy if you just think positively enough!”

I have one word to say about that kind of positive thinking…

LIE.

Delusional.

Misleading.

Uninformed.

Detrimental.

Okay, so by the time my subconscious was done ranting I discovered I had more than just one word. 🙂

That’s not to say positive thinking is bad. It’s fundamentally important to living a happy, fulfilled, engaged life. However, the lie and myth is that positive thinking is all that’s needed.

The reality is that we have difficult and painful emotions for a reason. They arise out of a self-protective compassionate need to SERVE our selves more effectively. Like physical pain, emotional pain is a compass that helps us see when things aren’t quite working right inside ourselves.

When we ignore physical pain or mask it over with overmedication, our body degenerates and ultimately finds more pain (not less). The same is true when we use Positive Thinking as a form of “overmedication” for our soul.

By not honoring and owning our emotional pain, then our soul… our heart… our spirit… call it what you will… ultimately will degenerate. Our psyche isn’t designed to repress and suppress pain indefinitely. That’s a big reason why some higly successful people have emotional breakdowns. They just kept overmedicating (or ignoring) until finally they couldn’t do it anymore.

The flip-side is equally as dangerous. When we completely identify with the negative painful thoughts, when we allow them to run our lives, to make us forget how magnificent we inherently are, then we also breakdown. We aren’t designed that way either.

Instead, I suggest accepting and acknowledging painful emotions as a compass – like a thermometer – to help you more effectively focus your attention and energy. Notice the “warning signs” that negative thinking presents to you. It’s not like I never have negative thoughts. I have them every day!

The thing is, I don’t take them so seriously. I strive to see them for what they are: helpful information that can point me TOWARDS living a happier and more positive life. They show me where more attention and self-care is needed in my life.

By using negative thoughts and painful emotions in that way, then the positive thinking is no longer a crutch – it’s no longer an addictive medicine that silently degenerates us until it’s too late.

Instead, positive thinking becomes a support to help you through the negative thoughts and ultimately take your happiness to the next level.

Chris Cade

If you would like to take the next step with Chris, sign up sign up for his Free “Getting Things Changed” 7-part mini-program that exposes the inner and outer obstacles conspiring against your best efforts to transform your life.

 

Click Here Now to get started…

http://www.chriscade.com/go/?af=12444&url=getting-things-changed/register

What is Helplessness – Chris Cade

Chris Cade

Nobody likes to feel helpless. It is probably most frequently avoided human emotion. People push themselves beyond their limits as well as fall into deep depression just to avoid feeling helpless.

The thing about it is this…

Helplessness, like all other difficult emotions, is a gateway to deeper wisdom and greater inner freedom.

Sure it may not seem like that. After all, we try to avoid it! But it’s only when we stop avoiding our feelings of helplessness that we can discover those inner gifts contained within.

Here’s how I define (REFRAME) helplessness:

“Helplessness is a sign that your Inner Critic believes you ‘should’ do more than the Universe needs you to do in a particular situation.”

Your Partner In Transformation,
Chris Cade
Liberate Your Life

P.S. I thought about explaining the idea above, but I decided not to. Instead, I figure it’s best to let you explore it for yourself… even if part of that exploration includes the possibility that you might feel
helpless.

If you would like to take the next step with Chris, sign up sign up for his Free “Getting Things Changed” 7-part mini-program that exposes the inner and outer obstacles conspiring against your best efforts to transform your life.

 

Click Here Now to get started…

http://www.chriscade.com/go/?af=12444&url=getting-things-changed/register

One Step Backward. Two Steps Forward – Chris Cade

by Chris Cade

There actually are great spiritual secrets. They exist.

The thing about spiritual secrets is that you can tell them openly.

Because the ability to understand something and then the power to integrate into your life are two very different things.”

– Guy Finley

As people on the path of conscious living, we almost always have a gap between what we know and how we live. That’s not a bad thing. It’s just that living 100% of what we believe to be true is difficult because there’s so many subconscious barriers to doing it.

We might live 75% of what we know on one day. Then life challenges shift us closer to 50%. Then we do some inner work, and it bounces up to 80%. And this process continues. This kind of “two steps forward one step back” is fundamental on the path of conscious living.

On one hand, we can punish ourselves emotionally for not doing what we “know” is right. That’s the Inner Critic taking its hold on us. Telling us we “know better” and “should do better.”

On the other hand, we can accept our humanity and recognize that each step “back” is an opportunity to learn. Learn what?

How to take those two steps forward! 🙂

This is the process of growth. It’s the choice we make when we no longer choose to allow other people and life circumstances decide everything for us. As you know, it’s not an easy path.

No more evident has this been to me than in the last couple of months. It’s not like my “Dark Night of the Soul” has suddenly disappeared. These times have been immensely difficult for me. Each day seems to be that struggle between steps forward and backward. Sometimes my Inner Critic counts the steps:

“Oh, Chris. You took THREE steps backward today and only one step forward. You could have done more. You should have done more.”

Yeah, that Inner Critic can be cunning (to put it “mildly”) at times. Fortunately, I don’t take it as seriously as I used to.

Sure it says things I may not appreciate. By not giving its words the weight and power that -it- wants to have, I don’t have to experience the pain that the Inner Critic tries to inflict.

I look beneath the words to see the scared little voice trying to control, limit, and diminish my life. I realize I don’t have to listen to it if I don’t want to.

And neither do you…

Your Partner In Transformation,
Chris Cade
Liberate Your Life

_______________________

If you would like to take the next step with Chris, sign up sign up for his Free “Getting Things Changed” 7-part mini-program that exposes the inner and outer obstacles conspiring against your best efforts to transform your life.

 

Click Here Now to get started…

http://www.chriscade.com/go/?af=12444&url=getting-things-changed/register

Hello Negativity, now go AWAY

Did you ever have one of those days when everything you say is either wrong, or worse, perceived as wrong and you pretty much can’t do anything right (at least in the eyes of others)?  I’m having that day.  Right now, right this very second, I am having that day.  It’s like there are negativity bombs aimed right at me and every singe one of them is scoring a direct hit.  Continue reading “Hello Negativity, now go AWAY” »

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