Last week, I had a dream in which I was driving on a road near the ocean. There was a person who wouldn’t let me pass, and I clearly understood that there was a conspiracy of sorts.
After handing this person a little bit of pocket change (kind of like this week’s “Inspirational Video of the Week”), I was allowed to pass.
Then I woke up in the room that I grew up in as a child. It was the middle of the night, and I put some change down on the nightstand next to me. That’s when I realized I was still dreaming, and the conspiracy dream that I previously had was a “dream within a dream.”
I fell back to sleep ~ that is to say ~ I fell asleep back into a “dream within a dream.” This time I was in a supermarket. The shelf next to me had some empty space, and I put some pocket change down there as well.
As I walked down the aisle, I asked myself a question inside my head:
“What don’t I know about this world?”
Immediately, the entire world shook violently. Bigger than the biggest earthquakes in history.
I woke up into full waking consciousness in a physical fight-or-flight panic. Adrenaline was pumping. It physically felt like the worst nightmare ever.
Metaphorically and symbolically though, I knew the dream was prophetic. It was important. It was about CHANGE.
The last weeks of my life have been some of the most painful I’ve ever gone through. Three very close important relationships to me are being severed in ways that challenge me at the deepest levels.
As such, I will be going deeper into myself…
I will be spending more time in silent retreat on the land of one of my spiritual teachers…
I will be doing a firewalk retreat…
I will be becoming more of the CHANGE I’m destined to be.
This pain I’m going through. These severed relationships. Yes, they hurt with more emotional pain than I’ve ever experienced in my entire life. If it weren’t for the inner work I’ve done up until now, these experiences might have broken me.
Actually, they have broken me…
Wide open in a way that allows me to see what’s inside. They enable me to see what I’m truly “made of” so to speak. It is an opportunity to step more fully into my greatest potential.
Most people shy away from their potential greatness. Just like the Marianne Williamson quote I emailed you a couple of days ago. Most of us are scared of our light.
I know I am, and this pain is showing me that I no longer have a choice. It’s once again the time for me to step more fully into myself, into my potential, and become more of the leader and teacher that I already am and continue to become with each passing day.
Over the coming months, I don’t know how my life will change. All I know is that it will transform in many ways that I can’t possibly imagine. All is unfolding as it is meant to, and even in my greatest pain I know that I am ultimately being held in a field of Loving Light.
In my first email titled “How to Solve Your Problems,” I suggested that one of the ways I shift out of my negative energy states (like anger, sadness, rejection), is to go from “What am I not getting?” to “What can I give?”
Right now, I am living in the midst of this exact challenge. What I “want” is to hold onto my ideas of how reality “should” be. What I “want” is to have these close relationships to me no longer be severed. What I want is to physically manifest the deep loving connection with these people the way that it used to manifest.
But I can’t have that. For reasons beyond my control, it has become impossible to have what I want the way I want it.
And so instead I ask myself “What can I give?”
…Err, no, I mean I “What can I bring?” Because in my followup email, I went further and suggested that rather than “give,” the new paradigm is what can we “bring.”
I bring myself fully to what I need most in the moment: conscious, loving connection. The world around me, the people I want it from most, can’t “give” it to me. I have to bring myself to it. In this case, that means bringing myself to experiences which connect me more fully to myself.
And so I will bring myself silently into the wild. I bring my fears with me and walk on fire. I will bring myself into the world and connect with new people more authentically and fully.
With all this in mind, I bring you a thought I wrote very recently in a comment on a friend’s Facebook wall. It is a comment that has since become a clear reminder to me of how the Loving Light truly works in our lives.
Here’s what I wrote…
“Grace is always with us, even when we are too lost in the fog to realize it’s just the clouds of Heaven holding us closer.”
And we all experience it because we’re human. It’s our choice whether the pain breaks us down and pummels us into the ground, or whether the pain breaks us open so we can more fully reveal our inner gifts to the world.
I’m choosing to be the change.
Your Partner In Transformation,
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