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self-esteem

7 Ways to Boost Your Self-Esteem

7 Ways to Boost Your Self-Esteem

Self-esteem refers to how you view your worth. Whether you are aware or unaware of it, your evaluation or perception of yourself in terms of your capabilities, potentials, and emotional and physical features affects your lifestyle, academic or work performance, relationships, and other life concerns.

Because of this, self-esteem plays a crucial role in helping you develop and maintain relationships, find success in school or work, and stay mentally, emotionally, and physically healthy.

Since a healthy dose of self-esteem can do wonders for various aspects of your life, you need to know when and how to give it a boost, especially at times when you know it has taken a hit.

Leading providers of professional clinical supervision services share some helpful tips below on how to improve your feelings of self-worth:

1.    Practice positive affirmation

Everyone hears discouraging and unkind words from time to time. The popularity of social media has also made it easier for people to post whatever they want to say about others, even if these remarks are hurtful and harsh.

If your self-confidence has taken a dip because you heard or read something upsetting, avoid letting these words take root in your mind. Instead of remembering them, forget about them. You will have an easier time doing this by coming up with and repeating positive affirmations.

Create a list of things you like about yourself, what you are good at doing, and your accomplishments. The simple act of writing down and reading about your positive attributes will boost your mood immediately.

Additionally, the more positive qualities you write down and remember, the more you will boost your trust and confidence in yourself. You will then feel empowered and more self-assured, ready to take on the activities and challenges at hand.

2.    Stop comparing yourself to others

There is nothing wrong with following the status of your friends, colleagues, and the people you know on social media. However, if you start envying and comparing yourself to them, you may need to take a break from these sites.

Comparing your skills and accomplishments to others won’t do anything good for you. You will always feel that they are still a step above you and that you will have your work cut out for you when you try to catch up with them.

Because of this, you will have something else that will occupy your mind. And this will lead to feelings of discontent and low self-esteem.

Although it can be hard to avoid comparing yourself to others altogether, try to do so. Additionally, don’t act on this to minimize feelings of competitiveness that will also ultimately affect your sense of self-worth.

3.    Do something nice to others

When you are feeling really low, you will be focused on your weaknesses, both real and imagined. If you continue concentrating on these limitations, you will never get out of your funk.

You can avoid focusing on the causes of your low self-esteem and feel better when you turn your attention toward another person.

Help a co-worker who seems to be swamped with work and has to submit a report before the day ends. If a friend looks burnt out due to juggling housework and taking care of toddlers, offer to babysit the kids so that she can go out for a few hours of pampering. You can also volunteer at a soup kitchen or animal shelter.

By doing something good for someone else or the environment, your focus shifts. You will stop fixating on your negative thoughts, and you will start thinking more positive things about yourself.

4.    Get more exercise

Various studies show that regularly working out and engaging in physical activities can increase self-esteem. They can improve mental health as well.

Exercising empowers your mental, emotional, and physical faculties. While working out, you focus only on the task at hand and forget your worries. As a result, you will have a clearer mind, and you will be better prepared for any ensuing tasks.

Additionally, whenever you complete your workout, you will feel a certain sense of accomplishment. And this will immediately give your confidence a boost.

When you maintain a healthy weight and stay in good shape, you will improve your perception of yourself as well.  This will go a long way in helping you be more confident and avoid feelings of discontent.

5.    Look your best

Your physical appearance usually reflects how you feel inside. For instance, if you’re feeling down, you will feel lazy or lack the motivation to put on makeup and choose a great outfit.

Consequently, your outward appearance can affect your emotions and thoughts as well. As such, if you feel your self-esteem is low, pamper yourself and experience its positive effects.

Go to a salon and get a haircut. If you want to do something simpler, take more time to put on your makeup and style your hair. Another option would be to wear that new dress or pair of shoes that you’ve been saving for a special occasion to help you feel better about yourself.

Don’t think of these activities as being vain or superficial; consider them as ways of practicing self-care. Keep in mind that looking great will boost your confidence and improve your mood, so don’t hesitate to try doing them.

6.    Try a change of scenery

Going to a place you have never been to will help you break out of a low self-esteem cycle.

Trying a new restaurant, taking a walk to a park you have never been to, or going on a holiday to a city you have never visited are great examples of doing something you like to give your self-esteem a boost.

Going somewhere you’ve never been to can quickly rejuvenate your mind and disrupt any negative thought patterns you may have.

Additionally, a change of scenery can give you a fresh perspective and the motivation you need to start making positive changes.

7.    Do something out of the ordinary

Lastly, aside from experiencing a change of scenery, lift your self-confidence by doing something you have always wanted but never got the chance to do.

This can be something as simple as pursuing a hobby such as gardening or photography or engaging in something more exciting such as an extreme sport. You can also take up a short course that will help you grow personally and professionally.

By trying something new, you will get out of your low self-esteem cycle as well. You will have something else to focus on instead of your negative thoughts.

Moreover, you will achieve a sense of accomplishment when set out to do the things you want to do. This will increase your self-esteem more than anything else.

Although these tips may seem easy enough to follow, certain challenges can still come up that may prevent you from seeing them through.

However, every little step counts when you want to boost your self-esteem, so if you can only start with something simple, do so. You will still feel an increase in your self-worth by taking these small strides.

 

AUTHOR BIO

Dr. Gemma Gladstone is an endorsed clinical psychologist and certified schema therapist, supervisor and trainer. Along with Justine Corry, she is co-director of the Good Mood Clinic in Sydney and has 24 years of experience within mental health.

 

 

Well Color Me….Worth It

originally posted from Well Color Me

I have spent a lot of time (most of my life) thinking that I wasn’t important. I didn’t matter, and I wasn’t worth anything. I didn’t grow up on an abusive or neglectful household, I wasn’t berated during my formative years. I don’t know how it happened, but I always felt like I didn’t matter, and I wasn’t worth it.

I’ve always felt alone. I have serious issues where I don’t ever see why anybody would ever want to be my friend, and I always assume that people think the worst of me. Suffice to say my self-esteem is down around my ankles. It may even be under my feet and burrowing itself down into the ground.

But lately, I’ve been doing some thinking. I’m not trying to figure out why I feel this way, but I’m trying to think of ways to NOT feel this way. I read lots of self-help stuff and they give me all sorts of different things to try, and they do, but they don’t work. At least they don’t work for me. I think it’s because they’re not my ideas. They’re not organic to me.

Here’s the thing, nobody can convince me that I don’t matter and I’m not worth it, if I don’t let them. So maybe I’m the one who convinced me that I’m not worth it. If that’s the case then I’m going to convince myself that I am worth it, because I am. As a matter of fact, I’m pretty fucking awesome. I’m a good person, a great mom, though my kids may think differently. I’m a huge team player at work, and I’m a freaking awesome friend, and if there were a guy in my life, I’d be the best girlfriend ever.

So starting right here, right now, I’m worth it. I matter, and I’m important. And anybody who doesn’t think so can sod off because I don’t need that negative crap or those negative people in my life. I’m worth it!

The Difference Between Your Ego and Your Inner Critic – Chris Cade

One of my Liberate Your Life program participants emailed me this week and asked that very question. It’s an interesting one, and I thought I’d share with you how I answer it within the body of my work. Although other peoples’ work may define these things differently, this is what works for me and for the people I work with.

Think of the Ego as your identity.

It’s who you take yourself to be. Maybe that’s a man or woman, mother or father, daughter or son. Maybe it’s an employee, a manager, a friend, and so on and so forth. You could sum up “Ego” as the who and what of your thoughts about yourself.

Think of the “Inner Critic” as the judgmental critical voice that has opinions *about* your Ego.

For example, the Inner Critic might look at the list I just wrote and expand it like this: “Insensitive man, ugly woman, unavailable mother, inconsistent father, distant daughter, burdensome son, incompetent employee, overbearing manager, callous friend” and so on and so forth. You could sum up “Inner Critic” as your opinions about yourself.

I’m aware that some people teach the ego to be “bad” or something to “rid” ourselves of. Unfortunately, that perspective *IS* the Inner Critic trying to judge how a person should go about their own path of inner growth.

(that’s just a more cunning version of the Inner Critic)

Rather than think of the Ego as something to get rid of, I prefer to think of it as something to understand. It’s not inherently bad to be a parent. However, it is important to understand what it means to be a parent, how that awareness affects your life, and how you can live both as a parent in the worldn… -without- all the judgments of the Inner Critic about what kind of parent it thinks you are.

Similarly, while I sometimes joke about “obliterating” the Inner Critic, that perspective only has very limited use (for the purposes of channeling certain types of aggressive energy more effectively).

As I teach in Liberate Your Life, it came to be in your life for very important, survival-based reasons. Rather than try to “get rid” of the Inner Critic, again I find it most useful to try and understand it. Explore it.

In my experience, trying to get rid of certain thoughts within my head is only a temporary remedy. The thoughts always come back. The only approach that has ever given me truly lasting freedom from the harsh judgments of my Inner Critic is awareness and understanding.

I hope those examples help clarify, at least within my evolving and developing body of work, where the differences lie between the Ego and the Inner Critic.

Your Partner In Transformation,
Chris Cade
Liberate Your Life

Your Emotions are Valid – The Daily Love

Your Emotions Are Valid, Choose People Who Believe That, Too!
originally posted by Mastin Kipp on August 28, 2011 at The Daily Love

Our emotions are not a burden, neither to us nor to the people in our lives.

Our emotions are real and they are valid. If we are to be happy, we must begin to step into not only loving our emotions, but also finding healthy ways to express them.

We can’t build intimacy with anyone in our life without the ability to express our emotions and feel safe doing so.

Many people have written in the WhatImGoingThru@TheDailyLove.com  and shared how they feel guilty for expressing their emotions, even though they feel their life is a blessing. They feel that their emotions are a burden and shouldn’t be expressed unless they are totally 100% positive.

But you see, anyone who only wants us to express “positive” emotions (including ourselves) doesn’t have true unconditional love for us. Rather, they have a conditional kind of love that can only handle the “good”. This is probably for good reason, namely because everyone is going through something and many folks don’t want even MORE negativity in their life.

However, for us to really love each other we must become willing to accept all parts of ourselves and others – not just the positive.

Unconditional love means full acceptance of someone (including ourselves) exactly where they are. This is not a license to be a push over, or to be a negative Nancy and just complain all the time. We must also take responsibility for our emotions and our life circumstance and step into an empowered perspective of all things.

But, at the same time, if we wish to experience love in our relationships, we must also step into the courage to be able to share what we are feeling without guilt, shame or feeling as if we are burdening ourselves and others. It is not through the negation of our emotions that we come closer together, but through the loving exposure of our emotions that we build trust and intimacy.

We all deeply desire to be seen and one of the best ways to feel seen is to be able to share about what we’re going through and how we are feeling and know that we aren’t going to be judged, condemned or attacked for our expression.

So today, let’s set the following intentions:

1. To be more open and accepting to the people in our lives and to want to generally know how they are feeling and what they are going through. Let us drop the judgment and simply just be present to whatever they are feeling. When we say, “How was your day” or “How are you?” let’s mean it and be present.

2. Let us also be present and have respect for OUR emotions. Let us step into radical acceptance of how we are feeling and learn from our emotions rather than suppress them. Let us be willing to become vulnerable and expose ourselves and if we find certain people in our lives are not willing to accept us as we are and where we are, let us reconsider their role in our lives. Let us go where the love is and let ourselves be seen by people who have the capacity to see us.

So, can you open up a little today, to your emotions and the emotions of those you love? Let us not judge, but simply be a loving presence for each other.

How does that feel?

Love,

Mastin

Some Things Never Change

There are some things that never change, like the fact that you are an incredible and amazing person.

In a world full of changes, it’s reassuring to know that there are some constants. The sun is always going to rise, and it’s always going to rise in the east. The tides will go in and out, and there will always be stars in the sky. We may not see them because there are clouds, but we always know they’re there.

There is another constant, and this one is the most important of all, but it often goes unnoticed. It’s the fact that each one of us is a unique and amazing individual. That is something to recognize and celebrate.

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