It’s all a Lie

At least that’s what I’ve been feeling like lately.  Every week, I set up the mailing list to send out the Daily Positive Thoughts.  I queue them up on Twitter, and I write the blog posts, and set them up so they also go to our Live Journal Community.  I look for the quotes to use, and I try to keep the website running well as well as make it interesting and easy to navigate.  This was all in an effort to maintain a positive attitude, and hopefully help other people to feel more positive as well.  Right now, I’m starting to think that it’s all pointless and the whole be positive, Law of Attraction stuff is just a lie, a big pile of nothingness that was put together in order to make other people money.

That’s exactly how I was feeling.  I didn’t feel like my Daily Positive Thoughts were helping anybody, and they certainly weren’t helping me.  To me, they’d become nothing more than a chore.  And as far as the whole Law of Attraction thing went, well it just wasn’t happening for me.  I’d done what the books said.  I put my wants and desires out there to the universe, believed that they would happen and taken steps to make sure they’d happen.  I’d made my vision board, I’d remained confident, and I had bupkis.

Or did I?  Do I have millions of dollars yet?  No, I don’t, but I’m a heck of a lot more financially secure than I ever have been in my life, and that includes when I was married, and we both had great jobs and no children.  Now, I’m a single parent, and while I’m not debt free, I’m getting there and there is still money left over.  And my job, lets talk about my job.  I finally have the job I’ve always wanted.  I’ve come close to it so many times.  I’ve had the job given to me and ripped right out of my hands because of bureaucracy, and even last spring, when I was told for certain 100% sure, the job was mine, I spent the summer being told about all the concerns they had for giving me the job.  But in the end, I got the job, and having just completed my first year, I have to say, I kicked some serious butt and did a great job.  All the other times when I had the job and then didn’t – well those jobs weren’t the RIGHT job for me.

One of the things I put on my vision board was an iPod touch. This winter, I went out and bought myself and iPod touch.  I was kind of angry about it for a while (the buying it) but then I realized something important.  When i put the iPod on my vision board, I didn’t attach anything to it about how I wanted it.  I think I needed to be more specific.  If I wanted to be given an iPod, I should have made that clear.  I just wanted an iPod and I got an iPod, with my own money – wait…with my own money.  I had the money to buy and iPod.  So it’s happening, I’m obtaining the things that I want, but they’re just not appearing in my living room as if by magic.  Maybe that’s a good thing with the house I want and the SUV I’m looking at.

So maybe it’s not a lie.  Maybe it’s a matter of perspective – it’s all in how you look at it.  Or, maybe, if you believe it’s a lie, it is a lie.  But if you believe it’s real and it can happen, it will.

So maybe my Daily Positive Thoughts, the LiveJournal Community and the twitter posts aren’t helping anybody else, but if I believe in what I’m posting and I believe that it’s true, it will help at least one person – me.

What are your thoughts and your opinions.  Comment below and let me know.