by Chris Cade

In my previous email (which you can click here to read), I shared that there’s a new way to go beyond the “getting” and “giving” paradigm and into a new way of engaging with the world.

In short, “giving” inherently suggests an experience of separation. “I have this. I give it to you. Now you have it. I don’t.”

If you give away a dollar, you no longer have it yourself. The dollar is separated from you and joined with another person, so to speak.

In the case of emotions like love, it seems less obvious that this is what happens. In fact, some great authors and speakers have commented how love is the only thing that when we give it away, we actually have more of it.

In theory that’s great. I love the principle. In reality, it still subconsciously encourages separation. It presumes at the basic level, “I have love and you don’t.” (or don’t have enough of it)

Perhaps I’m an idealist, but I believe we all have love within us.

Sure we may be blocked from experiencing that love in its fullest unconditioned state. Decades of history, pain, and conditioning will block it to some degree in just about everybody. It is my belief though that the love already exists within each and every one of us, and it’s up to us to understand and remove the blockages we have and allow that love to radiate from us.

In relation to giving though, I still think the idea of “giving love” might be a little bit outdated.

Recently in exploring this, I stumbled upon something that felt interesting to me. The more I explored it, the more I realized it shifts the separating subconscious implications of “giving” to something more profound, integrating, and including.

Rather than seeing ourselves as “giving” anything to another person, I bring you a different five letter word to try using…

“Bring”

I am reminded of growing up. When moving into a new neighborhood, it was customary to be welcomed by other neighbors who would BRING a welcome gift. If you were lucky, it was a home baked treat. 🙂

They didn’t just give you the treat and leave. They didn’t ring the bell, leave it at the door, and walk away. And they didn’t ship it from Amazon with a computer generated “Welcome to the ‘hood!” memo.

They BROUGHT it to you. They introduced themselves. They engaged with you.

Specifically, they brought you a piece of themselves.

This seems to be something I notice missing from a lot of giving today. There’s a lot of “stuff” being given, but what’s missing is the essential nature of giving ~ that we are actually BRINGING ourselves to an experience.

It’s most prevalent with our attention.

Are we “giving” somebody our attention? Are we “giving” them a shoulder to lean on, or an ear to listen?

Or are we bringing ourselves to them? Bringing them our attention? Bringing them the shoulder?

The difference may seem benign. Even pointless to some. To me it’s significant though.

The word “bring” is inclusive in nature. It means we are not leaving something (like ourselves) behind nor handing something over. We are arriving WITH whatever we are giving.

This is also true when we’re in a relationship, and especially one with conflict. Are we merely giving the other person an opportunity to be heard? Are we giving them a piece of our mind? Are we giving them our heart? Are we giving them space?

Those all assume separation. “I have something. I give it.”

Or are we BRINGING our heart, our soul, our essence into the relationship? Are we bringing our presence and capacity to hold space? The shift is subtle.

Every time you think you’re giving something to somebody, pause for a moment and ask yourself how it might feel if you were to “bring” instead.

Sure this requires a lot of conscious attention. We “give” a lot of things every day, to different people, and in different ways.

But isn’t that what our lives are about? Conscious attention?

Starting today, give it a try. Try “bringing” yourself into everything you “give” and see what your experience is like.

My hunch is that you’ll feel a lot happier “bringing” yourself into the world. And other people will appreciate it too… even if all they know is that “something feels a little bit different.”

Give it a try.

Do it for a day or several.

Then let me know how it goes for you. 🙂

Your Partner In Transformation,
Chris Cade

If you would like to take the next step with Chris, sign up sign up for his Free “Getting Things Changed” 7-part mini-program that exposes the inner and outer obstacles conspiring against your best efforts to transform your life.

Click Here Now to get started…

http://www.chriscade.com/go/?af=12444&url=getting-things-changed/register