Articles / Choices / Emotions

What it Means to “Hold On” to Your Pain – Chris caade

by Chris Cade Recently I shared with you a bit about happiness, and my friend Arina's explorations into the topic. While it's important to find ways to cultivate happiness, there's also a silent (or sometimes not-so-silent) killer of happiness: our pain. Many people hold onto their pain like a kind of "badge of honor." In fact, most of us have some aspect of our history, something painful or difficult, that we have a silent sense of pride about... as though when we tell the story, we know people will empathize with us. We'll be seen. We'll be comforted. In fact, we might even mistake the support we receive for a distorted illusion of happiness. Since that kind of connection between people feels supportive, we hold onto the story of our pain. We can tell the story again sometime (even if it's just to ourselves). The interesting thing about "holding onto our pain" is that it actually takes us away from happiness, authentic communication, and it prevents us from living our lives fully. When we "hold onto" our pain, when we bring our past difficult stories with us, what we're really saying is: "I don't want to be here, right now,…

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April 22, 2012
Articles / Believing / Choices / Emotions

Let Me Tell You About “God” – by Chris Cade

by Chris Cade Just saying the word "God" sends some people into a rage and others into profound peace. It causes wars and creates divine unions. People blame God for the bad in their lives while praising God for the gifts. I find it amazing how one word can have such different meanings to so many people. There are as many meanings for the word "God" as there are people on the planet. To some, God is personified - an all-knowing sentient being who consciously and intentionally creates situations (whether it's pleasure or suffering, peace or war, cancer or miracle healings). To others, God is an omnipresent field of organizing energy which has no conscious awareness, yet all consciousness arises from. And others don't even acknowledge the concept of "God" in any form. Regardless of what you may believe about God... Regardless of what you may have discovered to be personally true about God... I think it's important to really acknowledge that God means different things to different people. The thing is, what I'm writing isn't really about God. It's about you and every experience you've ever had, are having, and will have. Because each and every one of them,…

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April 19, 2012
Articles / Choices / Emotions / Law of Attraction / self-esteem

The Difference Between Your Ego and Your Inner Critic – Chris Cade

One of my Liberate Your Life program participants emailed me this week and asked that very question. It's an interesting one, and I thought I'd share with you how I answer it within the body of my work. Although other peoples' work may define these things differently, this is what works for me and for the people I work with. Think of the Ego as your identity. It's who you take yourself to be. Maybe that's a man or woman, mother or father, daughter or son. Maybe it's an employee, a manager, a friend, and so on and so forth. You could sum up "Ego" as the who and what of your thoughts about yourself. Think of the "Inner Critic" as the judgmental critical voice that has opinions *about* your Ego. For example, the Inner Critic might look at the list I just wrote and expand it like this: "Insensitive man, ugly woman, unavailable mother, inconsistent father, distant daughter, burdensome son, incompetent employee, overbearing manager, callous friend" and so on and so forth. You could sum up "Inner Critic" as your opinions about yourself. I'm aware that some people teach the ego to be "bad" or something to "rid" ourselves…

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April 18, 2012
Articles / Believing / Choices / Dreams / Emotions

The Gift You Give Yourself by Teaching Others – Chris Cade

by Chris Cade "We teach that which we most need to learn." ~ David Bach Some version of that quote has been used by leaders for as long as I can remember, and for good reason. While it's wonderful when we learn something new, the best way to integrate new knowledge and make it stick in our lives is to teach it. This is because teaching challenges us to really understand what we're learning. It challenges us to understand it with such clarity that we can effectively communicate it to others. Teaching also exposes us to feedback from others, and that feedback is helpful (and sometimes even necessary) for us to understand something deeply enough to integrate it into our lives. Those are just a few of the benefits you get by teaching something. Studies have shown that when you are first learning something, that if you teach it to somebody shortly thereafter, you'll remember what you learn more effectively and understand it more thoroughly. In fact, some teaching methods ~ ironically ~ require students to immediately turn around and teach others what they learn. The beauty of this approach is that it doesn't only deepen learning; it also creates…

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April 17, 2012
Articles / Choices / Emotions / Opportunities

What Inspires You When Nothing Else Can? – Chris Cade

My friend Jaime Mintun recently posted on her blog, "What Inspires You When Nothing Else Can?" I got to thinking about that question rather seriously, and what I discovered was interesting. The spirit of the question was intended as "When you can't get yourself going, what do you do to get going?" Inspirational quotes, thoughts, videos, poems, stories, etc. And while I use those on a regular basis, if we don't take them in fully, they become just more platitudes and cliches for false positive thinking (like my recent email, "The LIE about positive thinking.") In my serious discovery, I decided to take the question further and explore it from a "Dark Night of the Soul" perspective. In other words, what can we do when we experience life as so beyond miserable that NOTHING else can inspire us? The answer surprised me... When *nothing* else can, only 1 thing works: entertaining distraction. That's because when life seems miserable, your mind is so consumed by a negative state that it can't even recognize there's a positive aspect to the world. This negativity becomes a habit so bound to your psychological state that it can only be broken by completely severing your connection to…

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April 6, 2012
Articles / Choices / Opportunities

How to Stop Getting Burned – Chris Cade

by Chris Cade This last week I've been sick, and after being down for a day I finally had my hunger back. Armed with a bowl of freshly made vegetable broth pasta (thanks Mom!), I joyously scooped my first spoonful. Then felt that "oops" sensation of the top of my mouth and tastebuds burned. Despite my ravenous hunger, I cautiously waited a minute before scooping again. Apparently though, I wasn't cautious enough. "Oops" again. It took me a few times before I finally figured out to wait a little bit longer. But by then it was too late. In reflecting on my experience, I am reminded of this *famous quote: "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Yes, my hunger blinded me. I became insane with the insatiable hunger of being energy deprived from my illness. When I started to feel somewhat human again, I realized something interesting. Our impatience is one of the most frequent reasons we get burned in life. Whether it's a burn from a relationship gone bad, an unwanted habit that prevents us from living as full as we're capable of, an employee who delivers poor performance, an employer…

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April 3, 2012
Choices / Daily Positive Thought

Make a Choice

There are only two options regarding commitment. You're either IN or you're OUT. There's no such thing as life in-between. - Pat Riley I've been very unposty for the past week or so, for a couple of reasons.  I've been wicked busy with a lot of stuff, but also, I was feeling very wishy washy about things.  I wasn't as committed to this as I should be.  I've been doing this for me, yes, but also because I want other people to benefit.  But I wasn't getting real feedback from people about if/how they are benefiting from this. What's funny is that when I was putting together the Daily Positive Thoughts for the week I thought this was a nice quote, but I STILL didn't get it.  It wasn't until I was reading the Daily Positive Thought email this morning that it hit me.  I have to make a commitment to this.  There is no halfway...or as Yoda said, 'Do or not do. There is no try.'  I have to do this...if not for anybody else, for me.  I need to look at my life and find the positives.  I need to celebrate those positives.  If other people benefit, that's…

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April 3, 2012
Articles / Choices / Emotions / Negativity / Positive Thoughts

The Lie About Positive Thinking – Chris Cade

by Chris Cade You've heard it all before... "Think more positively and you'll get what you want. Visualize, affirm, and manifestation will happen effortlessly. Oh and be sure to overcome those pesky limiting beliefs! Affirmations, gratitude, and positive thinking will cover that one for you. Life is easy if you just think positively enough!" I have one word to say about that kind of positive thinking... LIE. Delusional. Misleading. Uninformed. Detrimental. Okay, so by the time my subconscious was done ranting I discovered I had more than just one word. :) That's not to say positive thinking is bad. It's fundamentally important to living a happy, fulfilled, engaged life. However, the lie and myth is that positive thinking is all that's needed. The reality is that we have difficult and painful emotions for a reason. They arise out of a self-protective compassionate need to SERVE our selves more effectively. Like physical pain, emotional pain is a compass that helps us see when things aren't quite working right inside ourselves. When we ignore physical pain or mask it over with overmedication, our body degenerates and ultimately finds more pain (not less). The same is true when we use Positive Thinking as a form of "overmedication"…

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March 17, 2012
Articles / Choices

Are you Opened or Closed – Chris Cade

Here's a quick and simple "test" to see how open you are in a given moment: Is your body physically more open or closed? For example ... - Are your arms crossed? Is your body hunched or curled over? You are probably feeling defensive and closed. - Are your arms outstretched or facing upwards? Is your body upright? These are more open and welcoming postures. "Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are." - Chinese Proverb The other thing to consider is how your body feels in a given moment. When life is going your way, when it's smooth and flowing, you typically feel relaxed. It's your natural state. On the other hand, when life is tough and there's challenges, usually you'll feel tense and constricted. This is a sign that you're not aligned with your True Nature. Same is true of your body. When it's tense, that's a sign that it's out of balance and not as "open" to the world. When you feel relaxed, there's an inherent openness that welcomes all of the world into your experience. As always though, don't take my word for this. Try it out. :) Notice what you're…

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February 20, 2012
Articles / Believing / Choices / Emotions / Negativity / Positive Thoughts

One Step Backward. Two Steps Forward – Chris Cade

by Chris Cade "There actually are great spiritual secrets. They exist. The thing about spiritual secrets is that you can tell them openly. Because the ability to understand something and then the power to integrate into your life are two very different things." - Guy Finley As people on the path of conscious living, we almost always have a gap between what we know and how we live. That's not a bad thing. It's just that living 100% of what we believe to be true is difficult because there's so many subconscious barriers to doing it. We might live 75% of what we know on one day. Then life challenges shift us closer to 50%. Then we do some inner work, and it bounces up to 80%. And this process continues. This kind of "two steps forward one step back" is fundamental on the path of conscious living. On one hand, we can punish ourselves emotionally for not doing what we "know" is right. That's the Inner Critic taking its hold on us. Telling us we "know better" and "should do better." On the other hand, we can accept our humanity and recognize that each step "back" is an opportunity to…

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February 6, 2012